Gobble, Gobble, turkey here! The holiday I’ve been dreading is back again and what do I have to be thankful for? Nothing. Call me pessimistic, but seriously, you have a cornucopia of things to be thankful for compared to me. You might complain that life sucks with those essays, all-nighters, and hardcore AP classes you’re taking, but just be thankful that you’re even attending Arcadia High. Be thankful you get to see those distant cousins and relatives that fly in for the holiday. See, I get to be reunited with my distant family too, only difference is that they’re dead. See how badly I have it? Even when I’m roasted, I still have it bad. It’s quite boring the conversations I have to listen to around the dinner table so do me a favor and lighten things up a little. Crack a few Thanksgiving jokes here and there, and show your relatives what you’re learning at that academically prestigious school of yours by defining these Thanksgiving words. Take it from a dead turkey to know how to liven up a Thanksgiving party.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims (n.) one of the band of Puritans who founded the colony of Plymouth, Mass., in 1620.
What kind of turkey is stuffed after Thanksgiving?
The Gobbler (n.) a male turkey
What kind of music do pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock (n.) a rock at Plymouth, Massachusetts, on which the Pilgrims, who sailed on the Mayflower, are said to have stepped ashore when they landed in America in 1620
What do penguins and turkeys have in common?
They both have a wattle! (n.) a fleshy lobe or appendage hanging down from the throat or chin of certain birds, as the domestic chicken or turkey
What do pilgrims call their digestion problem?
Cornucopia – (n.) Classical Mythology, a horn containing food and drink in endless supply, symbol of abundance
How did the turkey insult the pilgrim?
The turkey said, "You're a no-good baster!" (n.) a person who bastes, or moistens, meat or other food
What kind of tan do pilgrims get at the beach?
Puritan (n.) a person who is strict in moral or religious matters, often excessively so
I will try to find more.
Do I need to cite these jokes/definitions?
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims (n.) one of the band of Puritans who founded the colony of Plymouth, Mass., in 1620.
What kind of turkey is stuffed after Thanksgiving?
The Gobbler (n.) a male turkey
What kind of music do pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock (n.) a rock at Plymouth, Massachusetts, on which the Pilgrims, who sailed on the Mayflower, are said to have stepped ashore when they landed in America in 1620
What do penguins and turkeys have in common?
They both have a wattle! (n.) a fleshy lobe or appendage hanging down from the throat or chin of certain birds, as the domestic chicken or turkey
What do pilgrims call their digestion problem?
Cornucopia – (n.) Classical Mythology, a horn containing food and drink in endless supply, symbol of abundance
How did the turkey insult the pilgrim?
The turkey said, "You're a no-good baster!" (n.) a person who bastes, or moistens, meat or other food
What kind of tan do pilgrims get at the beach?
Puritan (n.) a person who is strict in moral or religious matters, often excessively so
I will try to find more.
Do I need to cite these jokes/definitions?