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    phuynh

    Posts : 68
    Join date : 2009-09-01

    Band Competitions

    Post  phuynh on Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:08 pm

    Marching band and colorguard once again showcased their talent and skill Nov. 7 at the Chino Tournament and Nov. 14 at La Palma band Review and Trabuco Hills Field Tournament. The schedule may have been very similar, but the difference laid in the intensity of each performance.
    The Chino Tournament had Band members suit up ecstatic and confident at eleven in the afternoon, and on the charter buses at 12. After a tedious, hour-long drive, Band arrived at Chino High School with two hours to spare. They didn’t waste a single minute dilly-dallying; instead they ran through the routine for the nerve-wracking parade. With all the morning practices, three-hour Wednesday night rehearsals, and sectional two hour practices; junior band member, Ryan Wang, believed that “Band [was] prepping for one of its greatest performances.”
    A minute ‘till three, Arcadia’s Band Review Performance began with hundreds of faces watching them; among which were [number of judges] who graded how well the Band and Colorguard executed their performance. From previous experiences at the Chino Tournament, Ryan felt that AHS would win Sweepstakes (first place) in all areas. At first Band and Colorguard members could not hear what the announcers were saying. Freshman Band member, Davina Nguyen, even recalled that whenever “Alshashia” was announced, “everyone just cheered…because it sounded like Arcadia.” AHS won Sweepstakes for Drum major and Colorguard. Unfortunately, Riverside King (our main rival) was able to steal Band Sweepstakes from us, just by 0.3 points.
    With the anxiety of the parade over, Band and Colorguard was able to focus their attention on the upcoming field show. Although some may argue that the parade portion of tournaments is more extreme than the field show, but really both parts are equal. In the parade part only a select number of Band members are given the opportunity to participate, while in the field show every single Band member performs. Also during the parade, Band members just march but in the field show precise stepping is planned to form, what freshmen band member Darin Leung calls, “pretty patterns.” Even freshman, Michelle Lai has to admit that during first period P.E. Band and Colorguard “what she says.”
    After the adrenaline-pumping field show, came the field show awards. Just like the Parade Awards Ceremony, AHS won sweepstakes for Colorguard. Percussion placed first, no surprise. Though, Band itself placed second, not as well as sweepstakes, they still pretty good. When the awards were finally over, Band headed back to the buses to take them home. They arrived back at AHS, tired but happy with the results, at twelve in the morning.
    With a whole week to practice for the upcoming Mission Viejo Competition, Band and Colorguard put in all their effort to improve themselves and prepare for their competitors.
    The call time for the La Palma BR/Trabuco Hills FT was a lot earlier than Chino’s because band members had to roll out of bed at around six to be at AHS by seven. Band members were able to catch up on their sleep on the two hour drive down to La Palma. The little nap helped Band execute their performance even better because [adhf I don’y know what the scores are yet for the parade. Ifjasdjfsaldjhalks].
    Usually Band members are scared for the parade portion but not this time, because there are people scattered around the field to watch their every move. Even with all this pressure breathing down on them, Band placed [dfhbasdflsadjkhl once again I don’t know what they placed yetdafsdfsdv dsfasdfasdfasdsa]
    Band came home content with all that they had accomplished in a day’s work at Mission Viejo. Since these competitions were one of the last, members cherished every minute of them.

    hanarudolph

    Posts : 152
    Join date : 2009-09-01

    Re: Band Competitions

    Post  hanarudolph on Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:58 pm

    Marching band and colorguard [capitalize! Marching Band and Colorguard] once again showcased their talent and skill on Nov. 7 at the Chino Tournament and on Nov. 14 at La Palma band [[caps if part of event title] Review and Trabuco Hills Field Tournament. The schedule may have been very similar, but the difference laid in the intensity of each performance.[This is really awkward; try to come up with a better concluding/interest-provoking statement. i would have had no idea that they would have had similar schedules, so also be careful not to assume something as general knowledge from your readers.]
    The Chino Tournament had Band members suit up [what does "suit up" mean?] ecstatic and confident at eleven in the afternoon [since when was 11 in the afternoon? and just say 11 A.M.], and on the charter buses at by 12. After a tedious [why was it tedious?], hour-long drive, Band [just band? what about colorguard?] arrived at Chino High School with two hours to spare. They didn’t waste a single minute dilly-dallying though; instead they ran through the routine for the nerve-wracking parade. With all the morning practices, three-hour Wednesday night rehearsals, and sectional two hour practices two hour sectionals;, junior band member, Ryan Wang, believed that “Band [was] prepping for one of its greatest performances.”
    A minute ‘till [should be 'til] three, Arcadia’s Band Review Performance began with hundreds of faces watching them [that sounds really awk/creepy][; among which were [number of judges] [why is this in brackets? and number of judges should have an article (a number of judges)] who graded how well the Band and Colorguard executed their performance. From previous experiences at the Chino Tournament, Ryan felt that AHS would win Sweepstakes (first place) in all areas. [what is the point of this sentence? it doesn't flow with the preceding or following ones. also, make the transition into the awards announcements more dramatic.] At first Band and Colorguard members could not hear what the announcers were saying. Freshman Band member, Davina Nguyen, even recalled that whenever “Alshashia” was announced, “everyone just cheered…because it sounded like Arcadia.” [again, whats the point of this statement? you need to tell the readers what to think.]AHS won Sweepstakes for Drum major [caps major] and Colorguard. Unfortunately, Riverside King (our main rival) was able to steal Band Sweepstakes from us, just by 0.3 points.[why the sudden shift in pronouns? keep it consistent, preferably in third-person]
    With the anxiety of the parade over [over is awk!], Band and Colorguard was [plural subject means "were"] able to focus their attentions on the upcoming field show. Although some may argue past tense: some argued] that the parade portion of tournaments is more extreme [what does extreme mean? extreme usually means outrageous] than the field show, but really both parts are equal [if this is based on individual perceptions, you can't make a general observation in such a factual way like this]. In the parade part segment only a select number of Band members are given the opportunity to participate, while in the field show every single Band member performs. Also, during the parade, Band members just march, but in the field show, precise stepping is planned to form, [delete comma] what freshmen band member Darin Leung calls, “pretty patterns.” Even freshman, delete comma Michelle Lai has quotes are in past tense to admit that during first period P.E. Band and Colorguard “what she says.” story roughs mean that you should be finished: get this quote quickly!]wait-- i thought that they were practically the same in how hard they are? you make field shows seem way worse
    After the adrenaline-pumping field show, came the field show awards. Just like the Parade Awards Ceremony, AHS won sweepstakes for Colorguard. Percussion placed first, no surprise. Though, Band itself placed second, not as well as sweepstakes, they still pretty good. When the awards were finally over, Band headed back to the buses to take them home. They arrived back at AHS, tired but happy with the results, at twelve in the morning.
    With a whole week to practice for the upcoming Mission Viejo Competition, Band and Colorguard put in all their effort to improve themselves and prepare for their competitors.
    The call time for the La Palma BR/Trabuco Hills FT was a lot earlier than Chino’s because band members had to roll out of bed at around six to be at AHS by seven. Band members were able to catch up on their sleep on the two hour drive down to La Palma. The little nap helped Band execute their performance even better because [adhf I don’y know what the scores are yet for the parade. Ifjasdjfsaldjhalks].
    Usually Band members are scared for the parade portion but not this time, because there are people scattered around the field to watch their every move. Even with all this pressure breathing down on them, Band placed [dfhbasdflsadjkhl once again I don’t know what they placed yetdafsdfsdv dsfasdfasdfasdsa]
    Band came home content with all that they had accomplished in a day’s work at Mission Viejo. Since these competitions were one of the last, members cherished every minute of them.

    hanarudolph

    Posts : 152
    Join date : 2009-09-01

    Re: Band Competitions

    Post  hanarudolph on Thu Nov 12, 2009 7:44 am

    After the adrenaline-pumping field show, [delete comma] came the field show awards. Just like the Parade Awards Ceremony [your audience has no idea what that is], AHS won sweepstakes for Colorguard. Percussion placed first, no surprise[make it a bit more congratulatory; you make it sound like "duh-- of course they got it."]. Though, [Replace Though, to Although (without comma)] Band itself placed second, not as well as sweepstakes [why do you make it sound worse?? second is good! don't make them sound less than what they are, make them sound more], they [where is your verb?] still pretty good. When the awards were finally over, Band headed back to the buses to take them home. They arrived back at AHS, tired but happy with the results, at twelve in the morning. [These last two sentences are awk; the first is irrelevant, and the second has awkward wording with too many commas.]
    With a whole week [you make this sound like its a really long time? why? that makes the whole experience sound easier than it is] to practice for the upcoming Mission Viejo Competition, Band and Colorguard put in all their effort to improve themselves and prepare for their competitors.
    The call time for the La Palma BR/Trabuco Hills FT was a lot earlier than Chino’s because [the call time wasn't earlier because the members had to roll out of bed? watch your wording] band members had to roll out of bed at around six to be at AHS by seven. Band members were able to catch up on their sleep [six isn't really that early.] on the two hour drive down to La Palma. The little nap [way too much focus on sleeping] helped Band execute their performance even better [now you make it sound that without the two hour nap they would have failed.] because [adhf I don’y know what the scores are yet for the parade. Ifjasdjfsaldjhalks].
    Usually Band members are scared for the parade portion [again, very negative. band sounds like a bunch of wimps who cant handle pressure] but not this time, because there are people scattered around the field to watch their every move [they werent scared because there was people all over?]. Even with all this pressure breathing down on them, Band placed [dfhbasdflsadjkhl once again I don’t know what they placed yetdafsdfsdv dsfasdfasdfasdsa]
    Band came home content with all that they had accomplished in a day’s work at Mission Viejo. Since these competitions were one competitions is plural, so one should be plural] of the last, members cherished every minute of them. [you need a stronger, more interesting conclusion]

    [you overuse commas way too much! read your writing out loud with a pause at each comma, and you'll realize how many you need to take out]

    phuynh

    Posts : 68
    Join date : 2009-09-01

    Re: Band Competitions

    Post  phuynh on Thu Nov 12, 2009 12:45 pm

    Marching Band and Colorguard once again showcased their talent and skill on Nov. 7 at the Chino Tournament and on Nov. 14 at La Palma Band Review and Trabuco Hills Field Tournament. The competitions had similar schedules, but the difference laid in the intensity of each performance.
    The Chino Tournament had Band members dressed and ready to go, ecstatic and confident at eleven in the morning. They hurriedly climbed into the school buses at noon. After a tedious hour of driving and waiting, Band and Colorguard arrived at Chino High School with two hours to spare. They didn’t waste a single minute dilly-dallying though; instead they ran through the routine for the nerve-wracking parade. With all the morning practices, three-hour Wednesday night rehearsals, and two-hour sectionals; junior band member, Ryan Wang, believed that “Band [was] prepping for one of its greatest performances.”
    A minute ‘til three, Arcadia’s Band Review Performance began grabbing the attention of hundreds of people; among which were a number of judges who graded how well the Band and Colorguard executed their performance. After the tiring parade performance, Band and Colorguard members awaited for the award ceremony. From previous experiences at the Chino Tournament, Ryan felt that AHS would win Sweepstakes (first place) in all areas, boosting people's confidence. At first Band and Colorguard members could not hear what the announcers were saying, intensifying the suspense. Freshman Band member, Davina Nguyen, even recalled that whenever “Alshashia” was announced, “everyone just cheered…because it sounded like Arcadia.” AHS won Sweepstakes for Drum Major. Unfortunately, Riverside King (our main rival) was able to steal Band Sweepstakes from Band, just by 0.3 points. Another loss was that Colorguard was tied first with Riverside King.
    With the anxiety of the parade over, Band and Colorguard were able to focus their attentions on the upcoming field show. Although some argued that the parade portion of tournaments is more intense than the field show, but really both parts are equal. In the parade segment only a select number of Band members are given the opportunity to participate, while in the field show every single Band member performs. Also during the parade, Band members just march, but in the field show precise stepping is planned to form what freshmen Band member Darin Leung calls, “pretty patterns.”
    After the adrenaline-pumping field show came the field show awards. Just like the parade awards ceremony, AHS won sweepstakes for Colorguard. Of course, Percussion placed first. Though, Band itself placed second, not as well as sweepstakes, they were still pretty good. When the awards were finally over, Band headed back to the buses to take them home. At twelve in the morning, they arrived back at AHS, tired but happy with the results.
    With a whole week to practice for the upcoming Mission Viejo Competition, Band and Colorguard put in all their effort to improve themselves and prepare for their competitors.
    The call time for the La Palma BR/Trabuco Hills FT was a lot earlier than Chino’s because band members had to roll out of bed at around six to be at AHS by seven. Band members were able to catch up on their sleep on the two hour drive down to La Palma. The little nap helped Band execute their performance even better because [adhf I don’t know what the scores are yet for the parade. Ifjasdjfsaldjhalks].
    Usually Band members are scared for the parade portion but not this time, because there are people scattered around the field to watch their every move. Even with all this pressure breathing down on them, Band placed [dfhbasdflsadjkhl once again I don’t know what they placed yetdafsdfsdv dsfasdfasdfasdsa]
    Band came home content with all that they had accomplished in a day’s work at Mission Viejo. The results of the Chino Tournament and Trabuco Hills Field Tournament make AHS students proud of their Marching Band and Colorguard.

    phuynh

    Posts : 68
    Join date : 2009-09-01

    Re: Band Competitions

    Post  phuynh on Fri Nov 13, 2009 12:25 pm

    Marching Band and Colorguard wowed hundreds with their talent and skill on Nov. 7 at the Chino Tournament and on Nov. 14 at La Palma Band Review and Trabuco Hills Field Tournament. The competitions had similar schedules, but the difference laid in the intensity of each performance.
    The Chino Tournament had Band members dressed and ready to go, ecstatic and confident at eleven in the morning. They hurriedly climbed into the school buses at noon. After a tedious hour of driving and waiting, Band and Colorguard arrived at Chino High School with two hours to spare. They didn’t waste a single minute dilly-dallying though; instead they ran through the routine for the nerve-wracking parade. With all the morning practices, three-hour Wednesday night rehearsals, and two-hour sectionals; junior band member, Ryan Wang, believed that “Band [was] prepping for one of its greatest performances.”
    A minute until three, Arcadia’s Band Review Performance began grabbing the attention of hundreds of people; among which were a number of judges who graded how well the Band and Colorguard executed their performance. After the tiring parade performance, Band and Colorguard members awaited for the award ceremony. From previous experiences at the Chino Tournament, Ryan felt that AHS would win Sweepstakes (first place) in all areas. At first Band and Colorguard members could not hear what the announcers were saying, intensifying the suspense. Freshman Band member, Davina Nguyen, even recalled that whenever “Alshashia” was announced, “everyone just cheered…because it sounded like Arcadia.” AHS won Sweepstakes for Drum Major. Unfortunately, Riverside King (our main rival) was able to steal Band Sweepstakes from Band in the parade portion, just by 0.3 points! Another loss was that Colorguard was tied first with Riverside King.
    With the anxiety of the parade over, Band and Colorguard were able to focus their attentions on the upcoming field show. In the parade segment only a select number of Band members are given the opportunity to participate, while in the field show every single Band member performs. Also during the parade, Band members just march, but in the field show precise formations are planned what freshmen Band member Darin Leung calls, “pretty patterns.”
    After the adrenaline-pumping field show came the field show awards. Just like the parade awards ceremony, AHS Colorguard won Sweepstakes and of course, Percussion placed first. Though, Band itself placed second, not as well as sweepstakes, they were still pretty good. When the awards were finally over, Band headed back to the buses to take them home. At twelve in the morning, they arrived back at AHS, tired but happy with the results.
    With a whole week to practice for the upcoming Mission Viejo Competition, Band and Colorguard put in all their effort to improve themselves and prepare for their competitors.
    The call time for the La Palma BR/Trabuco Hills FT was a lot earlier than Chino’s because band members had to roll out of bed at around six to be at AHS by seven. Band members were able to catch up on their sleep on the two hour drive down to La Palma. The little nap helped Band execute their performance even better because [adhf I don’t know what the scores are yet for the parade. Ifjasdjfsaldjhalks].
    Usually Band members are scared for the parade portion but not this time, because there are people scattered around the field to watch their every move. Even with all this pressure breathing down on them, Band placed [dfhbasdflsadjkhl once again I don’t know what they placed yetdafsdfsdv dsfasdfasdfasdsa]
    Band came home content with all that they had accomplished in a day’s work at Mission Viejo. The results of the Chino Tournament and Trabuco Hills Field Tournament make AHS students proud of their Marching Band and Colorguard.

    phuynh

    Posts : 68
    Join date : 2009-09-01

    Re: Band Competitions

    Post  phuynh on Mon Nov 16, 2009 5:51 pm

    Marching Band and Colorguard wowed hundreds with their talent and skill on Nov. 7 at the Chino Tournament and on Nov. 14 at La Palma Band Review and Trabuco Hills Field Tournament. The competitions had similar schedules, but the difference laid in the intensity of each performance.
    The Chino Tournament had Band members dressed and ready to go, ecstatic and confident at eleven in the morning. They hurriedly climbed into the school buses at noon. After a tedious hour of driving and waiting, Band and Colorguard arrived at Chino High School with two hours to spare. They didn’t waste a single minute dilly-dallying though; instead they ran through the routine for the nerve-wracking parade. With all the morning practices, three-hour Wednesday night rehearsals, and two-hour sectionals; junior band member, Ryan Wang, believed that “Band [was] prepping for one of its greatest performances.”
    A minute until three, Arcadia’s Band Review Performance began grabbing the attention of hundreds of people; among which were a number of judges who graded how well the Band and Colorguard executed their performance. After the tiring parade performance, Band and Colorguard members awaited for the award ceremony. From previous experiences at the Chino Tournament, Ryan felt that AHS would win Sweepstakes (first place) in all areas. At first Band and Colorguard members could not hear what the announcers were saying, intensifying the suspense. Freshman Band member, Davina Nguyen, even recalled that whenever “Alshashia” was announced, “everyone just cheered…because it sounded like Arcadia.” AHS won Sweepstakes for Drum Major. Unfortunately, Riverside King (our main rival) was able to steal Band Sweepstakes from Band in the parade portion, just by 0.3 points! Another loss was that Colorguard was tied first with Riverside King.
    With the anxiety of the parade over, Band and Colorguard were able to focus their attentions on the upcoming field show. In the parade segment only a select number of Band members are given the opportunity to participate, while in the field show every single Band member performs. Also during the parade, Band members just march, but in the field show precise formations are planned what freshmen Band member Darin Leung calls, “pretty patterns.”
    After the adrenaline-pumping field show came the field show awards. Just like the parade awards ceremony, AHS Colorguard won Sweepstakes and of course, Percussion placed first. Though, Band itself placed second, not as well as sweepstakes, they were still pretty good. When the awards were finally over, Band headed back to the buses to take them home. At twelve in the morning, they arrived back at AHS, tired but happy with the results.
    With a whole week to practice for the upcoming Mission Viejo Competition, Band and Colorguard put in all their effort to improve themselves and prepare for their competitors.
    The call time for the La Palma BR/Trabuco Hills FT was a lot earlier than Chino’s because band members had to roll out of bed at around six to be at AHS by seven. Band members were able to catch up on their sleep on the two hour drive down to La Palma. The little nap helped Band execute their performance even better because Marching Band and Colorguard both won first place. Drum Major and Percussion also placed first but this was the highest they could place because there wasn't Sweepstakes for these categories.
    Usually Band members are scared for the parade portion but not this time, because there are people scattered around the field to watch their every move. The placing was unusual because AHS could only place in Marching Band and that was overall. Although the judges gave a score of 96, they only placed fourth.
    Band came home content with all that they had accomplished in a day’s work at Mission Viejo. The results of the Chino Tournament and Trabuco Hills Field Tournament make AHS students proud of their Marching Band and Colorguard.

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