Copy Editing-Quidditch by Andrew

Ditch Quidditch by Andrew Chang

Okay, Quidditch. Let me get a few things straight.

First of all, everyone liked you when you were confined to the Harry Potter franchise. It was curious, we thought, how Rowling was able to create a “wizard sport” incorporating various elements of the sports we play today with broomsticks and the “wizarding world.” But don’t get ahead of yourself. Just because we praised you as a peculiar sport doesn’t mean you’re a legitimate one. You think you can match the intensity of a clutch buzzer beater with the snitch? Think again before you get a big head, Quidditch.

Now look what’s happened. You’ve leaked into the intercollegiate sphere like you’re some sort of hot shot. Yeah right, Quidditch. You’re even dumber than before. It’s not even clear how you function in the real world because things can’t actually fly. Except birds, but if you used a bird as the snitch it would probably fly away and nobody would have any fun whatsoever.
Could you think, for once in your life, about how you’re constructed? You have wizards on broomsticks trying to throw the Quaffle into the goal to score 10 measly points, all the while working against the beaters, chasers, and keepers of the opposing team. Do you have any inkling of how hard it is to score with you, Quidditch? No, you don’t. You’re just a sport. You have no sentience. And then, suddenly and out of the blue, the seeker catches the snitch and ends the game, rendering everyone’s efforts for the previous hour entirely worthless. And furthermore, Harry always gets the snitch. In every single game he plays when he doesn’t get knocked out, he GETS THE SNITCH. The difficulty level of catching the snitch and scoring 150 points is extremely and egregiously disproportionate. Do you know how hard it is to catch the snitch and not win? I know it happened to Bulgaria in the World Cup. Don’t get smart with me, Quidditch.
And you know what the worst part is? You’ve got everyone thinking that they can catch the proverbial snitch at the last second. But not everyone can be Harry Potter. Just because he can make a game-winning catch for Gryffindor every time doesn’t mean all the other seekers in the world can do that. Newsflash, Quidditch teams of the world. You need to be more than your ability to catch a last-minute snitch. Because sometimes it doesn’t happen, and then your whole team’s going to have a bad time. This unfair emphasis on catching the snitch is creating a really bad mindset among people everywhere, Quidditch.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Ditch Quidditch by Andrew Chang

Okay, Quidditch. Let me get a few things straight.
First of all, everyone liked you when you were confined to the Harry Potter franchise. It was curious, we thought, how Rowling was able to create a “wizard sport” [by] incorporating various elements of the sports we play today with broomsticks and the “wizarding world.” But don’t get ahead of yourself. Just because we praised you as a peculiar sport doesn’t mean you’re a legitimate one. You think you can match the intensity of a clutch buzzer beater with the [a] snitch [capitalize]? Think again before you get a big head, Quidditch.
Now look what’s happened. You’ve leaked into the intercollegiate sphere like you’re some sort of hot shot. Yeah right, Quidditch. You’re even dumber than before. It’s not even clear how you function in the real world because things can’t actually fly. Except birds, but if you used a bird as the snitch it would probably fly away and nobody would have any fun whatsoever.
Could you think, for once in your life, about how you’re constructed? You have wizards on broomsticks trying to throw the Quaffle into the goal to score 10 measly points, all the while working against the beaters, chasers, and keepers [capitalize all positions - that's how Rowling wrote them] of the opposing team. Do you have any inkling of how hard it is to score with you, Quidditch? No, you don’t. You’re just a sport. You have no sentience. And then, suddenly and out of the blue, the seeker [capitalize] catches the snitch [capitalize] and ends the game, rendering everyone’s efforts for the previous hour entirely worthless. And furthermore, Harry always gets the snitch [capitalize]. In every single game he plays [that he doesn't get knocked out in] when he doesn’t get knocked out, he GETS THE SNITCH. The difficulty level of catching the snitch [capitalize] and scoring 150 points is extremely and egregiously disproportionate. Do you know how hard it is to catch the snitch [capitalize] and not win? I know it happened to Bulgaria in the World Cup. Don’t get smart with me, Quidditch.
And you know what the worst part is? You’ve got everyone thinking that they can catch the proverbial snitch [capitalize] at the last second. But not everyone can be Harry Potter. Just because he can make a game-winning catch for Gryffindor every time doesn’t mean all the other seekers [capitalize] in the world can do that. Newsflash, Quidditch teams of the world. [change period to colon, and uncapitalize the 'You'] You need to be more than your ability to catch a last-minute snitch [capitalize]. Because sometimes it doesn’t happen, and then your whole team’s going to have a bad time. This unfair emphasis on catching the snitch [capitalize] is creating a really bad mindset among people everywhere, Quidditch.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Andrew-
Can you link this more with the real world? I know you mentioned the "proverbial snitch" but try to do more with that. Maybe provide a particular incident when someone who's done nothing for the whole "game" ended up with the ultimate prize, and how hard work is rendered meaningless by such moments. So far, the article doesn't seem to have enough depth, but I can see it going really far.

Thanks (:

Andrew Chang
Ditch Quidditch

Okay, Quidditch. Let me get a few things straight.

First of all, everyone liked you when you were confined to the Harry Potter franchise. It was curious, we thought, how Rowling was able to create a “wizard sport” incorporating various elements of the sports we play today with broomsticks and the “wizarding world.” But don’t get ahead of yourself. Just because we praised you as a peculiar sport doesn’t mean you’re a legitimate one. You think you can match the intensity of a clutch buzzer beater with the Snitch? Think again before you get a big head, Quidditch.

Now look what’s happened. You’ve leaked into the intercollegiate sphere like you’re some sort of hot shot. Yeah right, Quidditch. You’re even dumber than before. It’s not even clear how you function in the real world because things can’t actually fly. Except birds, but if you used a bird as the snitch it would probably fly away and nobody would have any fun whatsoever.

Could you think, for once in your life, about how you’re constructed? You have wizards on broomsticks trying to throw the Quaffle into the goal to score 10 measly points, all the while working against the Beaters, Chasers, and Keepers of the opposing team. Do you have any inkling of how hard it is to score with you, Quidditch? No, you don’t. You’re just a sport. You have no sentience. And then, suddenly and out of the blue, the Seeker catches the Snitch and ends the game, rendering everyone’s efforts for the previous hour entirely worthless. And furthermore, Harry always gets the Snitch. In every single game he plays that he doesn't get knocked out in, he GETS THE SNITCH. The difficulty level of catching the Snitch and scoring 150 points is extremely and egregiously disproportionate. Do you know how hard it is to catch the Snitch and not win? I know it happened to Bulgaria in the World Cup. Don’t get smart with me, Quidditch.

And you know what the worst part is? You’ve got everyone thinking that they can catch the proverbial Snitch at the last second. But not everyone can be Harry Potter. Just because he can make a game-winning catch for Gryffindor every time doesn’t mean all the other Seekers in the world can do that. What’s next, Quidditch, are you going to inspire students everywhere to think they can just study for a test the night before and expect a good grade without any prior studying? Newsflash, Quidditch teams of the world: you need to be more than your ability to catch a last-minute Snitch. And to all the people of the world: don’t let Quidditch convince you that everything can be saved by the perfect last minute. Because sometimes it doesn’t happen, and then everyone’s going to have a bad time. This unfair emphasis on catching the Snitch is creating a really bad mindset among people everywhere, Quidditch.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

In bold are the parts about metaphorical significance.

Andrew Chang
Ditch Quidditch

Okay, Quidditch. Let me get a few things straight.

First of all, everyone liked you when you were confined to the Harry Potter franchise. It was curious, we thought, how Rowling was able to create a “wizard sport” incorporating various elements of the sports we play today with broomsticks and the “wizarding world.” But don’t get ahead of yourself. Just because we praised you as a peculiar sport doesn’t mean you’re a legitimate one. You think you can match the intensity of a clutch buzzer beater with the Snitch? Think again before you get a big head, Quidditch.

Now look what’s happened. You’ve leaked into the intercollegiate sphere like you’re some sort of hot shot. Yeah right, Quidditch. You’re even dumber than before. It’s not even clear how you function in the real world because things can’t actually fly. Except birds, but if you used a bird as the snitch it would probably fly away and nobody would have any fun whatsoever.

Could you think, for once in your life, about how you’re constructed? You have wizards on broomsticks trying to throw the Quaffle into the goal to score 10 measly points, all the while working against the Beaters, Chasers, and Keepers of the opposing team. Do you have any inkling of how hard it is to score with you, Quidditch? No, you don’t. You’re just a sport. You have no sentience. And then, suddenly and out of the blue, the Seeker catches the Snitch and ends the game, rendering everyone’s efforts for the previous hour entirely worthless. And furthermore, Harry always gets the Snitch. In every single game he plays that he doesn't get knocked out in, he GETS THE SNITCH. The difficulty level of catching the Snitch and scoring 150 points is extremely and egregiously disproportionate. Do you know how hard it is to catch the Snitch and not win? I know it happened to Bulgaria in the World Cup. Don’t get smart with me, Quidditch.

And you know what the worst part is? You’re giving legitimacy only to the home stretch. Whatever happened to the rest of the race? You’ve got everyone thinking that they can catch the proverbial Snitch at the last second. But not everyone can be Harry Potter. Just because he can make a game-winning catch for Gryffindor every time doesn’t mean all the other Seekers in the world can do that. What’s next, Quidditch, are you going to inspire students everywhere to think they can just study for a test the night before and expect a good grade without any prior studying? Newsflash, Quidditch teams of the world: you need to be more than your ability to catch a last-minute Snitch. And to all the people of the world: don’t let Quidditch convince you that everything can be saved by the perfect last minute. Because sometimes it doesn’t happen, and then everyone’s going to have a bad time. This unfair emphasis on catching the Snitch is creating a really bad mindset among people everywhere, Quidditch.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.