Our parents should have told us long ago, Christmas is a lie! But you know what? I figured out why they never told us the truth. It all started when my mom switched the radio station from KIIS to 103.5 because she claimed that that music was “making me more stupid.” MORE stupid? Thanks mom. So I was forced to listen to jolly Christmas music, which actually wasn’t so bad…until I started hearing the lyrics. “It’s the greatest time of year!” Greatest time? What about the horrific weather and cram-for-college time makes it so great? “…And it’s here! We’re gonna celebrate it!” Apparently, our teachers think celebrate means piling up essays and projects. Hm, that says a lot about their life. So sometime between my mother calling me stupid and Aly and Aj belching that tune, I realized the truth! Our parents trick us into believing that winter break is great so that we’ll understand their reasoning when this event happens:
Me: Mom, I’ve been working non-stop. Can I have a break and go to the movies with my friends?
And this is her clever evil reply:
Mom: No. That’s what winter break is for! I’m already giving you two weeks of break! Now, study!
It makes me wonder, what if Christmas songs played the truth? They wouldn’t be so jolly, and Mom would have nothing to trick me with. Here’s what The Christmas Song
should actually sound like.
Arcadia High’s Christmas Song
Average-scored tests roasting on an open fire,
Semester finals nipping at your brain,
Lehrer’s “Elements” being sung by AP Chemists
And Apaches dressed up like Eskimos.
Everybody knows Mists Essays and some APUSH notes
don’t help make the season bright.
and senior class, with their college apps to go,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.
They know that Santa is bringing college to their way;
He's loaded lots of essays and other goodies on his sleigh.
And every senior's parents are going to spy,
To see if their kids really know how to apply.
And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To class of 2010 to 2013,
Although it’s impossible to be free during break,
A very Merry Christmas to you. :]
Me: Mom, I’ve been working non-stop. Can I have a break and go to the movies with my friends?
And this is her clever evil reply:
Mom: No. That’s what winter break is for! I’m already giving you two weeks of break! Now, study!
It makes me wonder, what if Christmas songs played the truth? They wouldn’t be so jolly, and Mom would have nothing to trick me with. Here’s what The Christmas Song
should actually sound like.
Arcadia High’s Christmas Song
Average-scored tests roasting on an open fire,
Semester finals nipping at your brain,
Lehrer’s “Elements” being sung by AP Chemists
And Apaches dressed up like Eskimos.
Everybody knows Mists Essays and some APUSH notes
don’t help make the season bright.
and senior class, with their college apps to go,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.
They know that Santa is bringing college to their way;
He's loaded lots of essays and other goodies on his sleigh.
And every senior's parents are going to spy,
To see if their kids really know how to apply.
And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To class of 2010 to 2013,
Although it’s impossible to be free during break,
A very Merry Christmas to you. :]