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    How To Tell When A Nerd Likes You

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    oisheeshemontee

    Posts : 145
    Join date : 2009-09-01
    Age : 22

    How To Tell When A Nerd Likes You

    Post  oisheeshemontee on Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:05 pm

    Okay, this ended up being way way way longer than I thought...sorry, copyeditors!!

    Smart they may be, but nerds are unfortunately not renowned for their social aptitude. While these brainiacs can write precise essays on the expectations of women in nineteenth-century society, they are not always able to interact successfully with peers from their own generation. Sometimes, the signals they send out and the signals others receive from them are vastly different.

    That’s not to say, of course, that nerds don’t share the same emotions every other teenager feels. They can feel fear, and despair, and love – especially love. Nerds are famed for their big brains, but sometimes, we forget how their hearts are usually just as big. Behind those thick glasses, nerds frequently hide a whole world of love and devotion. The problem is, they aren’t always too good at expressing it. So how are we supposed to tell when exactly a nerd is in love?

    He changes his hair/appearance. So you come into class and slide into your assigned seat, conveniently right beside Nerd. You turn to politely greet him good morning, but stop in shock when you see – HE HAS SHAVED OFF ALL HIS HAIR. When you ask Nerd about it, he replies, “Oh, it’s nothing. Just trying to increase my mile time by reducing the amount of air resistance through shaving my keratinized filaments. Rather dashing, don’t you agree?”

    Don’t be fooled by his nonchalant air and offhand manner – he is really dying to know what you think of him. Of course, he didn’t really cut off his hair to increase his mile time – what’s more likely is he heard your long discussion with your best friend across the aisle about how you loved your favorite movie star’s close-cropped military hair, and tried to copy the style – with disastrous results. But please don’t laugh at poor Nerd, no matter how his scalp glistens in the fluorescent light – remember how much he sacrificed in an effort to please you. Think about it from his perspective - although Nerd may not care as much about personal appearances, he hates changes and feeling vulnerable or unprotected in any way. Chances are, his hairstyle has been the same protective mop since elementary school. Exposing the top of his head to sunburn or the like is not an ideal scenario for him. And yet, Nerd is willing to risk skin cancer for you. Cue the chorus of “Awws”.

    He writes your name on his calculator. So you’re in math class, and Nerd beside you is as busy as usual, tapping away on his quaint, old-fashioned calculator that still uses matchstick numbers. You let your mind wander freely away from the boundaries of math, thinking of better times elsewhere. All of a sudden, you feel your seat partner nudge your shoulder. He’s smiling nervously, and holding out his calculator. You stare at it in confusion for a few minutes. The equation there makes no sense. Frantically, you look up at the board, thinking the teacher had assigned some problem everyone was supposed to do. Then Nerd taps enter, and a huge six- or seven-digit number pops up. Shyly, he turns the calculator upside-down and, as if by magic, you see your name appear.

    If you are one of those people whose names are composed only of I’s, L’s, O’s, E’s, S’s, G’s or H’s, this might be a common occurrence for you. By now, you should know the correct response to this sort of flattering attention: show the proper amount of enthusiasm, smile happily and memorize the pattern of numbers so you can amaze your friends with your uniqueness. Appreciate the cuteness of the moment – pretend not to notice him writing down the answer in his notebook, and later staring at it through math class. If this happens, just feel good about being so special that you can successfully distract Nerd from his favorite subject!

    He offers to tutor you/get tutored in a subject. Say you’re sitting in English class, struggling over last night’s AP Biology homework yet again. You meant to do it last night, but you fell asleep early. Unfortunately, that means now you have exactly fifty minutes to read through all of Chapter 23 and be absolutely ready for next period’s quiz on Hardy-Weinberg equations. You’re frantically worried, and just not in the mood to talk to Nerd at this moment, although you politely respond to all his queries. All of a sudden, you hear him say, “Would you like me to tutor you?”

    Chances are, at this point, he looks nervous, quite possibly extremely awkward. This is because although Nerd is extremely intelligent, the chances are he doesn’t do too much tutoring, especially to people of the opposite gender, preferring to fly solo most of his high school career. The less likely, but still possible, scenario is of Nerd himself approaching you for help in some subject. When this does happen, it is most likely a plot to engage your attention, since nerds rarely ever require academic help from others. Nerds prefer solitary projects, where dependency and interaction with others is at a zero, so the fact that he’s willingly and purposely engaging personal study time with you is something incredibly special – at least, in his eyes. What are you waiting for? Go ahead, snap up his offer! You know you need his help, plus look at it this way: it’s at least more subtle than something like, “I’m a fermata, hold me!” It’s a good chance to make friends with one of the most interesting types of human beings in the world. Who knows, all those study sessions together may just lead to you discovering that, no matter how large a nerd’s brain, his heart can be just as big.

    Joe Tian

    Posts : 15
    Join date : 2009-09-01

    Re: How To Tell When A Nerd Likes You

    Post  Joe Tian on Thu Feb 04, 2010 12:25 pm

    Copy edit please. =D

    oisheeshemontee

    Posts : 145
    Join date : 2009-09-01
    Age : 22

    Edit #1

    Post  oisheeshemontee on Sat Feb 06, 2010 3:59 pm

    Okay, this ended up being way way way longer than I thought...sorry, copyeditors!!

    Smart they may be, but nerds are unfortunately not renowned for their social aptitude. While these brainiacs can write precise essays on the expectations of women in nineteenth-century society, they are not always able to interact successfully with peers from their own generation. Sometimes, the signals they send out and the signals others receive from them are vastly different.

    That’s not to say, of course, that nerds can't feel fear, despair, and love. They feel emotions just as acutely as any other teenager – especially love. Behind those thick glasses, nerds frequently hide a whole world of love and devotion. The problem is, they aren’t always too good at expressing it. So how are we supposed to tell when exactly a nerd is in love?

    1) He changes his hair/appearance. So you come into class and slide into your assigned seat, conveniently right beside Nerd. You turn to politely greet him good morning, but stop in shock when you see – HE HAS SHAVED OFF ALL HIS HAIR. When you ask Nerd about it, he replies, “Oh, it’s nothing. Just trying to increase my mile time by reducing the amount of air resistance through shaving my keratinized filaments. Rather dashing, don’t you agree?”

    Don’t be fooled by his nonchalant air and offhand manner – he is really dying to know what you think of him. Of course, he didn’t really cut off his hair to increase his mile time – what’s more likely is he heard your long discussion with your best friend across the aisle about how you loved your favorite movie star’s close-cropped military hair, and tried to copy the style – with disastrous results. But please don’t laugh at poor Nerd, no matter how his scalp glistens in the fluorescent light – remember how much he sacrificed in an effort to please you. Think about it from his perspective - although Nerd may not care as much about personal appearances, he hates changes and feeling vulnerable or unprotected in any way. Chances are, his hairstyle has been the same protective mop since elementary school. Exposing the top of his head to sunburn or the like is not an ideal scenario for him. And yet, Nerd is willing to risk skin cancer for you. Cue the chorus of “Awws”.

    2) He writes your name on his calculator. So you’re in math class, and Nerd beside you is as busy as usual, tapping away on his quaint, old-fashioned calculator that still uses matchstick numbers. You let your mind wander freely away from the boundaries of math, thinking of better times elsewhere. All of a sudden, you feel your seat partner nudge your shoulder. He’s smiling nervously, and holding out his calculator. You stare at it in confusion for a few minutes. The equation there makes no sense. Frantically, you look up at the board, thinking the teacher had assigned some problem everyone was supposed to do. Then Nerd taps enter, and a huge six- or seven-digit number pops up. Shyly, he turns the calculator upside-down and, as if by magic, you see your name appear.

    If you are one of those people whose names are composed only of I’s, L’s, O’s, E’s, S’s, G’s or H’s, this might be a common occurrence for you. By now, you should know the correct response to this sort of flattering attention: show the proper amount of enthusiasm, smile happily and memorize the pattern of numbers so you can amaze your friends with your uniqueness. Appreciate the cuteness of the moment – pretend not to notice him writing down the answer in his notebook, and later staring at it through math class. If this happens, just feel good about being so special that you can successfully distract Nerd from his favorite subject!

    3) He offers to tutor you. Pretend you’re sitting in English class, struggling over last night’s AP Biology homework yet again. You meant to do it last night, but you fell asleep early. Unfortunately, that means now you have exactly fifty minutes to read through all of Chapter 23 and be absolutely ready for next period’s quiz on Hardy-Weinberg equations. You’re frantically worried, and just not in the mood to talk to Nerd at this moment, although you politely respond to all his queries. All of a sudden, you hear him say, “Would you like me to tutor you?”

    Chances are, at this point, he looks nervous, quite possibly extremely awkward. This is because although Nerd is extremely intelligent, the chances are he doesn’t do too much tutoring, especially to people of the opposite gender, preferring to fly solo most of his high school career. Nerds prefer solitary projects, where dependency and interaction with others is at a minimum, so the fact that he’s willingly and purposely engaging personal study time with you is something incredibly special – at least, in his eyes. What are you waiting for? Go ahead, snap up his offer! You know you need his help, plus look at it this way: it’s at least more subtle than something like, “I’m a fermata, hold me!” It’s a good chance to make friends with one of the most interesting types of human beings in the world. Who knows, all those study sessions together may just lead to you discovering that, no matter how large a nerd’s brain, his heart is usually even bigger.

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