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    JadeShao

    Posts : 44
    Join date : 2009-08-31

    future ahs badminton team

    Post  JadeShao on Wed Feb 03, 2010 1:46 am

    While most people regard badminton as a back-yard, family-fun kind of game, played with an adorably named “birdie”, it is actually a blindingly quick-paced sport requiring fast reflexes, steady concentration and extraordinary hand-eye coordination. Vincent Li, a junior at AHS, has been playing for two years and after realizing our school’s lack of a badminton team, has been restlessly trying to start one. Schools around the San Gabriel Valley that do have such a team include Alhambra High School, Mark Keppel High School, Pasadena High School and San Gabriel High School. Apparently, Vincent didn’t like the idea of Arcadia High School being left out of that list. Encouraged by many staff members and students on campus, Vincent is motivated by their support and enthusiasm for the sport, hoping that the future AHS Badminton Team will be able to send a team to compete at CIF and even introduce badminton into the life of every student at Arcadia. Having acquired over 300 signatures on a petition to show school officials that there is indeed an interest in playing Badminton at AHS, it is obvious there are many students out there who share a love of the sport and look forward to having a competitive team to be a part of. According to junior Alex Chen, who is excited about this future team and intends to make room for it in his busy schedule, “I’d love to be apart of the team. It’s really fun and really gets you fit.” Apparently, Alex’s opinion is not alone as sophomore Venus Tong agrees and says, “Badminton has always been an interesting sport to me. People too often underestimate this sport, which is why Arcadia must lead the way in promoting this lesser-known sport. Arcadia needs a badminton sport’s team.” In fact, undiscovered yet brilliantly talented Badminton players are senior Iris Wang who is a member of the U.S. Olympic Badminton team and her sister Rena Wang who is equally talented as both Wang sisters have placed first at the 2009 Pan American Junior Badminton Championships.
    Currently, this unofficial badminton team plays at a local gym which allows all AHS students to play completely free. Arranged by Vincent with the help of Mr. Wilmhurst, president of the Southern California Badminton Association, the Arcadia Badminton Club, located on 12336 Lower Azusa Road, Arcadia CA, 91006 provides gym space and birdies to interested students completely free of charge on Mondays to Fridays from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Vincent is now also trying to start a Badminton Intramural tournament which would perhaps start in late March or early April. In response to a question about his hopes for the future club, Vincent answers, “Instead of solely working on starting the badminton team, I’m trying to provide every Arcadia with more chances to play badminton.”

    katetrinh

    Posts : 31
    Join date : 2009-08-31

    Re: future ahs badminton team

    Post  katetrinh on Wed Feb 03, 2010 12:31 pm

    Partially edited for content. Separate this into paragraphs please.

    While most people regard badminton as a back-yard, family-fun kind of game, played with an adorably [change word] named “birdie”, it is actually a blindingly quick-paced sport requiring fast reflexes, steady concentration and extraordinary hand-eye coordination. Vincent Li, a junior at AHS, has been playing for two years and has been restlessly trying to start a team after realizing our school’s lack of one. Schools around the San Gabriel Valley that do have such a team include Alhambra High School, Mark Keppel High School, Pasadena High School, and San Gabriel High School. Apparently,[take out] Vincent didn’t like the idea of AHS being left out of that list. Encouraged by many staff members [List a couple of the teachers]and students on campus, Vincent is motivated by their support and enthusiasm for the sport, hoping that the future AHS Badminton Team [uncapitalize] will be able to send a team to compete at CIF and even introduce badminton into [to] the life of every student at Arcadia. Having acquired over 300 signatures on a petition to show school officials that there is indeed an interest in playing Badminton [lowercase] at AHS, [color=red][reword this sentence. You start with "having acquired", so this part should begin with "Vincent" since he is the one who acquired the signatures][/color=red] it is obvious there are many students out there who share a love of [for] the sport and look forward to having a competitive team to be a part of. According to junior Alex Chen, who is excited about this [possible] future team and intends to make room for it in his busy schedule, “I’d love to be apart of the team. It’s really fun and really gets you fit.” Apparently, Alex’s opinion is not alone as sophomore Venus Tong [isn't Venus a senior? Or is there another Venus Tong?] agrees and says, “Badminton has always been an interesting sport to me. People too often underestimate this sport, which is why Arcadia must lead the way in promoting this lesser-known sport. Arcadia needs a badminton sport’s [no apostrophe] team.” In fact, undiscovered yet brilliantly talented Badminton [lowercase] players are senior Iris Wang who is a member of the U.S. Olympic Badminton team and her sister Rena Wang who is equally talented as both Wang sisters have placed first at the 2009 Pan American Junior Badminton Championships [rephrase this sentence. It's wordy and slightly confusing.]
    Currently, this unofficial badminton team [you never mentioned that the students quoted above are part of an unofficial team, so it is misleading to suddenly refer to them as a team] plays at a local gym which allows all AHS students to play completely free. Arranged by Vincent with the help of Mr. Wilmhurst [first name?], president of the Southern California Badminton Association, the Arcadia Badminton Club, located on 12336 Lower Azusa Road, Arcadia CA, 91006 provides gym space and birdies to interested students completely free of charge on Mondays to Fridays from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Vincent is now also trying to start a Badminton Intramural tournament which would perhaps start in late March or early April. In response to a question about his hopes for the future club, Vincent answers, “Instead of solely working on starting the badminton team, I’m trying to provide every Arcadia with more chances to play badminton.”

    JadeShao

    Posts : 44
    Join date : 2009-08-31

    DRAFT 2

    Post  JadeShao on Wed Feb 03, 2010 5:38 pm

    While most people regard badminton as a back-yard, family-fun kind of game, played with a uniquely named “birdie”, it is actually a blindingly quick-paced sport requiring fast reflexes, steady concentration and extraordinary hand-eye coordination. Vincent Li, a junior at AHS, has been playing for two years and has been restlessly trying to start a team after realizing our school’s lack of one. Schools around the San Gabriel Valley that do have such a team include Alhambra High School, Mark Keppel High School, Pasadena High School, and San Gabriel High School. Encouraged by many staff members, such as Mr. Zhang, Coach Press and Mr. and Mrs. Mynster, and students on campus, Vincent is motivated by their support and enthusiasm for the sport, hoping that the future AHS badminton team will be able to send a team to compete at CIF and even introduce badminton to the life of every student at Arcadia.
    Vincent has acquired over 300 signatures on a petition to show school officials that there is indeed an interest in playing badminton at AHS, and it is obvious there are many students out there who share a love for the sport and look forward to having a competitive team to be a part of. According to junior Alex Chen, who is excited about this possible team and intends to make room for it in his busy schedule, “I’d love to be apart of the team. It’s really fun and really gets you fit.” Apparently, Alex’s opinion is not alone as senior Venus Tong agrees and says, “Badminton has always been an interesting sport to me. People too often underestimate this sport, which is why Arcadia must lead the way in promoting this lesser-known sport. Arcadia needs a badminton sports team.” In fact, undiscovered yet brilliantly talented badminton players are senior Iris Wang who is a member of the U.S. Olympic Badminton team and her sister Rena Wang who placed first at the 2009 Pan American Junior Badminton Championships

    Currently, those who are interested in this possible team play badminton at a local gym which allows all AHS students to play completely free. Arranged by Vincent with the help of Mr. Tom Wilmhurst, president of the Southern California Badminton Association, the Arcadia Badminton Club, located on 12336 Lower Azusa Road, Arcadia CA, 91006 provides gym space and birdies to interested students completely free of charge on Mondays to Fridays from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Vincent is now also trying to start a Badminton Intramural tournament which would perhaps start in late March or early April. In response to a question about his hopes for the future club, Vincent answers, “Instead of solely working on starting the badminton team, I’m trying to provide every Arcadia with more chances to play badminton.”

    oisheeshemontee

    Posts : 145
    Join date : 2009-09-01
    Age : 23

    Copyedit #1

    Post  oisheeshemontee on Sat Feb 06, 2010 3:37 pm

    While most people regard badminton as a back-yard, family-fun kind of game, played with a uniquely named “birdie”, it is actually a blindingly quick-paced sport requiring fast reflexes, steady concentration and extraordinary hand-eye coordination. Vincent Li, a junior at AHS, has been playing for two years and has been restlessly trying to start a team after realizing our school’s lack of one. Schools around the San Gabriel Valley that do have such a team include Alhambra High School, Mark Keppel High School, Pasadena High School, and San Gabriel High School. [This last sentence should be moved down and included later - right now it seems rather abrupt] Encouraged by many staff members, such as Mr. [First name?] Zhang, Coach [First name?] Press and Mr. [First name?] and Mrs. [First name?] Mynster, [as well as numerous] and students on campus, Vincent is motivated by their support and enthusiasm for the sport, hoping that the future AHS badminton team will be able to send a team to compete at CIF and even introduce badminton to the life of every student at Arcadia. [This last part about Vincent's hopes regarding the team should probably be put later in the article, not right now]
    Vincent has acquired over 300 signatures on a petition to show school officials that there is indeed an interest in playing badminton at AHS, and it is obvious there are many students out there who share a love for the sport and look forward to having a competitive team [to represent the school] to be a part of. According to junior Alex Chen, who is excited about this possible team and intends to make room for it in his busy schedule, “I’d love to be apart of the team. It’s really fun and really gets you fit.” Apparently, Alex’s opinion is not alone [in this opinion] as senior Venus Tong agrees and says, “Badminton has always been an interesting sport to me. People too often underestimate this sport, which is why Arcadia must lead the way in promoting this lesser-known sport. Arcadia needs a badminton sports team.” In fact, [AHS even has] undiscovered yet brilliantly talented badminton players[, such as] are senior Iris Wang[,] who is a member of the U.S. Olympic Badminton team[,] and her sister [grade level?] Rena Wang who placed first at the 2009 Pan American Junior Badminton Championships

    Currently, those who are interested in this possible team play badminton at a local gym which allows all AHS students to play completely free. Arranged by Vincent with the help of Mr. Tom Wilmhurst, president of the Southern California Badminton Association, the Arcadia Badminton Club, located on 12336 Lower Azusa Road, Arcadia CA, 91006 provides gym space and birdies to interested students completely free of charge on Mondays to Fridays from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Vincent is now also trying to start a Badminton Intramural tournament which would perhaps start in late March or early April. In response to a question about his hopes for the future club, Vincent answers, “Instead of solely working on starting the badminton team, I’m trying to provide every Arcadia with more chances to play badminton.”

    JadeShao

    Posts : 44
    Join date : 2009-08-31

    draft 3

    Post  JadeShao on Sat Feb 06, 2010 4:36 pm

    While most people regard badminton as a back-yard, family-fun kind of game, played with a uniquely named “birdie”, it is actually a blindingly quick-paced sport requiring fast reflexes, steady concentration and extraordinary hand-eye coordination. Vincent Li, a junior at AHS, has been playing for two years and has been restlessly trying to start a team after realizing our school’s lack of one. Schools around the San Gabriel Valley that do have such a team include Alhambra High School, Mark Keppel High School, Pasadena High School, and San Gabriel High School.

    Vincent has acquired over 300 signatures on a petition to show school officials that there is indeed an interest in playing badminton at AHS, and it is obvious there are many students out there who share a love for the sport and look forward to having a competitive team to represent the school. According to junior Alex Chen, who is excited about this possible team and intends to make room for it in his busy schedule, “I’d love to be apart of the team. It’s really fun and really gets you fit.” Apparently, Alex is not alone in this opinion as senior Venus Tong agrees and says, “Badminton has always been an interesting sport to me. People too often underestimate this sport, which is why Arcadia must lead the way in promoting this lesser-known sport. Arcadia needs a badminton sports team.” In fact, AHS even has undiscovered yet brilliantly talented badminton players, such as senior Iris Wang, a member of the U.S. Olympic Badminton team, and her sister, Rena Wang who placed first at the 2009 Pan American Junior Badminton Championships.

    Currently, those who are interested in this possible team play badminton at a local gym which allows all AHS students to play completely free. Arranged by Vincent with the help of Mr. Tom Wilmhurst, president of the Southern California Badminton Association, the Arcadia Badminton Club, located on 12336 Lower Azusa Road, Arcadia CA, 91006 provides gym space and birdies to interested students completely free of charge on Mondays to Fridays from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Vincent is now also trying to start a Badminton Intramural tournament which would perhaps start in late March or early April.
    Encouraged by many students on campus, Vincent is motivated by their support and enthusiasm for the sport, hoping that the future AHS badminton team will be able to send a team to compete at CIF and even introduce badminton to the life of every student at Arcadia. In response to a question about his plans for the future club, Vincent answers, “Instead of solely working on starting the badminton team, I’m trying to provide every Arcadia with more chances to play badminton.”

    oisheeshemontee

    Posts : 145
    Join date : 2009-09-01
    Age : 23

    Copyedit #2

    Post  oisheeshemontee on Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:09 pm

    While most people regard badminton as a back-yard, family-fun kind of game, played with a uniquely named “birdie”, it is actually a blindingly quick-paced sport requiring fast reflexes, steady concentration and extraordinary hand-eye coordination. Vincent Li, a junior at AHS, has been playing [badminton] for two years and has been restlessly trying to start a team after realizing our school’s lack of one. Schools around the San Gabriel Valley that do have such a team include Alhambra High School, Mark Keppel High School, Pasadena High School, and San Gabriel High School.

    Vincent has acquired over 300 signatures on a petition to show school officials that there is indeed an interest in playing badminton at AHS, and it is obvious there are many students out there who share a love for the sport and look forward to having a competitive team to represent the school. According to junior Alex Chen, who is excited about this possible team and intends to make room for it in his busy schedule, “I’d love to be apart of the team. It’s really fun and really gets you fit.” Apparently, Alex is not alone in this opinion as senior Venus Tong agrees and says, “Badminton has always been an interesting sport to me. People too often underestimate this sport, which is why Arcadia must lead the way in promoting this lesser-known sport. Arcadia needs a badminton sports team.” In fact, AHS even has undiscovered yet brilliantly talented badminton players, such as senior Iris Wang, a member of the U.S. Olympic Badminton team, and her sister, Rena Wang who placed first at the 2009 Pan American Junior Badminton Championships.

    Currently, those who are interested in this possible team play badminton at a local gym which allows all AHS students to play completely free. Arranged by Vincent[,] with the help of Mr. Tom Wilmhurst, president of the Southern California Badminton Association, the Arcadia Badminton Club, located on 12336 Lower Azusa Road, Arcadia CA, 91006 provides gym space and birdies to interested students completely free of charge [either take this phrase out, because you already mentioned it before, or separate it from the main sentence with commas] on [from] Mondays to Fridays from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Vincent is now also trying to start a Badminton Intramural tournament which would perhaps start in late March or early April.

    Encouraged by many students on campus, Vincent is motivated by their support and enthusiasm for the sport, hoping that the future AHS badminton team will be able to send a team to compete at CIF and even introduce badminton to the life of every student at Arcadia. In response to a question about his plans for the future club, Vincent answers, “Instead of solely working on starting the badminton team, I’m trying to provide every Arcadia[n] with more chances to play badminton.”

    JadeShao

    Posts : 44
    Join date : 2009-08-31

    draft 4

    Post  JadeShao on Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:13 pm

    While most people regard badminton as a back-yard, family-fun kind of game, played with a uniquely named “birdie”, it is actually a blindingly quick-paced sport requiring fast reflexes, steady concentration and extraordinary hand-eye coordination. Vincent Li, a junior at AHS, has been playing badminton for two years and has been restlessly trying to start a team after realizing our school’s lack of one. Schools around the San Gabriel Valley that do have such a team include Alhambra High School, Mark Keppel High School, Pasadena High School, and San Gabriel High School.

    Vincent has acquired over 300 signatures on a petition to show school officials that there is indeed an interest in playing badminton at AHS, and it is obvious there are many students out there who share a love for the sport and look forward to having a competitive team to represent the school. According to junior Alex Chen, who is excited about this possible team and intends to make room for it in his busy schedule, “I’d love to be apart of the team. It’s really fun and really gets you fit.” Apparently, Alex is not alone in this opinion as senior Venus Tong agrees and says, “Badminton has always been an interesting sport to me. People too often underestimate this sport, which is why Arcadia must lead the way in promoting this lesser-known sport. Arcadia needs a badminton sports team.” In fact, AHS even has undiscovered yet brilliantly talented badminton players, such as senior Iris Wang, a member of the U.S. Olympic Badminton team, and her sister, Rena Wang who placed first at the 2009 Pan American Junior Badminton Championships.

    Currently, those who are interested in this possible team play badminton at a local gym which allows all AHS students to play completely free. Arranged by Vincent, with the help of Mr. Tom Wilmhurst, president of the Southern California Badminton Association, the Arcadia Badminton Club, located on 12336 Lower Azusa Road, Arcadia CA, 91006 provides gym space and birdies to interested students from Mondays to Fridays from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Vincent is now also trying to start a Badminton Intramural tournament which would perhaps start in late March or early April.

    Encouraged by many students on campus, Vincent is motivated by their support and enthusiasm for the sport, hoping that the future AHS badminton team will be able to send a team to compete at CIF and even introduce badminton to the life of every student at Arcadia. In response to a question about his plans for the future club, Vincent answers, “Instead of solely working on starting the badminton team, I’m trying to provide every Arcadian with more chances to play badminton.”

    debbiejong

    Posts : 79
    Join date : 2009-08-31

    Re: future ahs badminton team

    Post  debbiejong on Tue Feb 09, 2010 7:26 pm

    I think Iris Wang is a sophomore, actually...

    JadeShao

    Posts : 44
    Join date : 2009-08-31

    ok

    Post  JadeShao on Tue Feb 09, 2010 7:32 pm

    While most people regard badminton as a back-yard, family-fun kind of game, played with a uniquely named “birdie”, it is actually a blindingly quick-paced sport requiring fast reflexes, steady concentration and extraordinary hand-eye coordination. Vincent Li, a junior at AHS, has been playing badminton for two years and has been restlessly trying to start a team after realizing our school’s lack of one. Schools around the San Gabriel Valley that do have such a team include Alhambra High School, Mark Keppel High School, Pasadena High School, and San Gabriel High School.

    Vincent has acquired over 300 signatures on a petition to show school officials that there is indeed an interest in playing badminton at AHS, and it is obvious there are many students out there who share a love for the sport and look forward to having a competitive team to represent the school. According to junior Alex Chen, who is excited about this possible team and intends to make room for it in his busy schedule, “I’d love to be apart of the team. It’s really fun and really gets you fit.” Apparently, Alex is not alone in this opinion as senior Venus Tong agrees and says, “Badminton has always been an interesting sport to me. People too often underestimate this sport, which is why Arcadia must lead the way in promoting this lesser-known sport. Arcadia needs a badminton sports team.” In fact, AHS even has undiscovered yet brilliantly talented badminton players, such as sophomore Iris Wang, a member of the U.S. Olympic Badminton team, and her sister, Rena Wang who placed first at the 2009 Pan American Junior Badminton Championships.

    Currently, those who are interested in this possible team play badminton at a local gym which allows all AHS students to play completely free. Arranged by Vincent, with the help of Mr. Tom Wilmhurst, president of the Southern California Badminton Association, the Arcadia Badminton Club, located on 12336 Lower Azusa Road, Arcadia CA, 91006 provides gym space and birdies to interested students from Mondays to Fridays from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Vincent is now also trying to start a Badminton Intramural tournament which would perhaps start in late March or early April.

    Encouraged by many students on campus, Vincent is motivated by their support and enthusiasm for the sport, hoping that the future AHS badminton team will be able to send a team to compete at CIF and even introduce badminton to the life of every student at Arcadia. In response to a question about his plans for the future club, Vincent answers, “Instead of solely working on starting the badminton team, I’m trying to provide every Arcadian with more chances to play badminton.”

    JadeShao

    Posts : 44
    Join date : 2009-08-31

    revised conclusion

    Post  JadeShao on Wed Feb 17, 2010 6:42 pm

    While most people regard badminton as a back-yard, family-fun kind of game, played with a uniquely named “birdie”, it is actually a blindingly quick-paced sport requiring fast reflexes, steady concentration and extraordinary hand-eye coordination. Vincent Li, a junior at AHS, has been playing badminton for two years and has been restlessly trying to start a team after realizing our school’s lack of one. Schools around the San Gabriel Valley that do have such a team include Alhambra High School, Mark Keppel High School, Pasadena High School, and San Gabriel High School.

    Vincent has acquired over 300 signatures on a petition to show school officials that there is indeed an interest in playing badminton at AHS, and it is obvious there are many students out there who share a love for the sport and look forward to having a competitive team to represent the school. According to junior Alex Chen, who is excited about this possible team and intends to make room for it in his busy schedule, “I’d love to be apart of the team. It’s really fun and really gets you fit.” Apparently, Alex is not alone in this opinion as senior Venus Tong agrees and says, “Badminton has always been an interesting sport to me. People too often underestimate this sport, which is why Arcadia must lead the way in promoting this lesser-known sport. Arcadia needs a badminton sports team.” In fact, AHS even has undiscovered yet brilliantly talented badminton players, such as sophomore Iris Wang, a member of the U.S. Olympic Badminton team, and her sister, Rena Wang who placed first at the 2009 Pan American Junior Badminton Championships.

    Currently, those who are interested in this possible team play badminton at a local gym. Arranged by Vincent, with the help of Mr. Tom Wilmhurst, president of the Southern California Badminton Association, the Arcadia Badminton Club, located on 12336 Lower Azusa Road, Arcadia CA, 91006 provides gym space and birdies to interested students from Mondays to Fridays from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Vincent is now also trying to start a Badminton Intramural tournament which would perhaps start in late March or early April.

    Encouraged by many students on campus, Vincent is motivated by their support and enthusiasm for the sport, hoping that the future AHS badminton team will be able to send a team to compete at CIF and even introduce badminton to the life of every student at Arcadia. In response to a question about his plans for the future club, Vincent answers, “Instead of solely working on starting the badminton team, I’m trying to provide every Arcadian with more chances to play badminton.”

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