Hello there, my relatively naïve, my delightfully more innocent, and altogether younger self. I take it you’re doing moderately well. I should know. After all, I’ve been through it all before. As I'm sitting in front of my computer screen here, heavily afflicted with the ever-prevalent and infamously notorious disease known commonly as 'senioritis', I've been thinking a lot more. Sometimes I'm thinking about important things, like the meaning of life. Other times I'm thinking of ways I can put off my homework even longer. But I sit here, typing up everything I've accomplished in the past four years, finding the list disappointingly and excruciatingly short, feeling just a little bit on the lonely side, I think about all the things I wish I could have done to be a little less disappointed right now. I think about all the things I only wish that you knew—that is, things I wish that I knew back when I was you. Does that makes any sense, grammatically? I wish you knew more about grammar.
I wish you weren’t so terribly mean to your brother because I’m pretty sure he resents me now. I want you to know that you’ll regret breaking all those promises. I wish you let Mom and Dad know that you appreciate them a bit more because I think they’ll miss us when we leave. I wish you didn’t quit colorguard, I wish you didn’t give up on what you loved, I wish you pursued your dreams and chased those windmills. I wish you knew that that haircut was not a good idea at all. I wish you didn’t wear flip-flops on that day your toenail flipped off. I hope you know that backing up your computer files is a good idea. I wish you didn’t think your immune system was all that powerful. Eat more fruits and vegetables please. I wish you would have thought twice before just blowing off the handle like that. I wish you knew how to filter the kind of things that came out of your mouth. I wish you thought about the consequences to your actions, because some of them still affect our relationships with certain people to this very day.
I wish you didn’t just resign yourself to being bad at math; I wish you didn’t just give up and settle into a comfortable mediocrity because years later, it’s not comfortable at all. I wish you knew that sometimes, there is a limit to how much internet access is truly necessary. I wish you knew that not doing homework would actually screw up your grade pretty badly. Heck, I wish I remembered this more often too. That’s one of our biggest mistakes. Underestimation. We underestimate the value of the mundane task until it piles up and becomes something unchangeable. We underestimate the value of a kind word every once in a while. We completely and terribly and underestimate our own self worth. I wish you challenged yourself more. I wish you stopped seeking approval earlier, because that was quite a waste of time. I wish you got up from that chair that I’m sitting on more often, because frankly, it’s kind of sagging from being sat on so much. I wish you went out and saw the world. I wish I simply just tried harder.
Dear past me, I know I’m writing this to you, but I know that in these sentiments, these regrets, I’m not alone. I know that I’m not the only who wishes I could have told you all these things. And with this, I’m done turning my head and talking backwards and exercising my hindsight. Although I can’t change what I’ve done, what you’ve done, what I can do is pave the steps for my future me, a girl who is far superior in every way because she knows what I do not. So, good-bye for now, I’m done looking backwards. I’m going to take lengthy strides into the golden embrace of my future. There’s nothing left to do but focus on the now and the later.
I wish you weren’t so terribly mean to your brother because I’m pretty sure he resents me now. I want you to know that you’ll regret breaking all those promises. I wish you let Mom and Dad know that you appreciate them a bit more because I think they’ll miss us when we leave. I wish you didn’t quit colorguard, I wish you didn’t give up on what you loved, I wish you pursued your dreams and chased those windmills. I wish you knew that that haircut was not a good idea at all. I wish you didn’t wear flip-flops on that day your toenail flipped off. I hope you know that backing up your computer files is a good idea. I wish you didn’t think your immune system was all that powerful. Eat more fruits and vegetables please. I wish you would have thought twice before just blowing off the handle like that. I wish you knew how to filter the kind of things that came out of your mouth. I wish you thought about the consequences to your actions, because some of them still affect our relationships with certain people to this very day.
I wish you didn’t just resign yourself to being bad at math; I wish you didn’t just give up and settle into a comfortable mediocrity because years later, it’s not comfortable at all. I wish you knew that sometimes, there is a limit to how much internet access is truly necessary. I wish you knew that not doing homework would actually screw up your grade pretty badly. Heck, I wish I remembered this more often too. That’s one of our biggest mistakes. Underestimation. We underestimate the value of the mundane task until it piles up and becomes something unchangeable. We underestimate the value of a kind word every once in a while. We completely and terribly and underestimate our own self worth. I wish you challenged yourself more. I wish you stopped seeking approval earlier, because that was quite a waste of time. I wish you got up from that chair that I’m sitting on more often, because frankly, it’s kind of sagging from being sat on so much. I wish you went out and saw the world. I wish I simply just tried harder.
Dear past me, I know I’m writing this to you, but I know that in these sentiments, these regrets, I’m not alone. I know that I’m not the only who wishes I could have told you all these things. And with this, I’m done turning my head and talking backwards and exercising my hindsight. Although I can’t change what I’ve done, what you’ve done, what I can do is pave the steps for my future me, a girl who is far superior in every way because she knows what I do not. So, good-bye for now, I’m done looking backwards. I’m going to take lengthy strides into the golden embrace of my future. There’s nothing left to do but focus on the now and the later.
