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    raphaellu

    Posts : 62
    Join date : 2009-09-05

    Breeders' Cup

    Post  raphaellu on Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:48 pm

    Raphael Lu
    Horses and Heroes

    On Fri. Nov. 6 and Sat. Nov. 7, Santa Anita park hosted the Breeder’s Cup. On the first day, a series of 14 races showcased the best horses from America and Europe. The prize money of these races was a whopping $25.5 million dollars. On the first day the main audience were horse fanatics, however, on the second day, Breeders’ Cup partner, United Service Organizations (USO), took the stage.
    It was days that allowed the people serving our country to rest and indulge in a day of food, fun, relaxation, and most importantly, family time. This year the USO will be commemorating the brave firefighters who risked their lives to keep us safe during the Station Fire. Freshman Tricia Xu feels that “they deserve this event because it is a lot of work and they keep us safe. I don’t think a lot of people realize that. I’m just glad they are being honored, because we are all so thankful especially as the holidays come up.”
    What makes this event even more special is the fact that this is the first time The Breeders’ cup has held the event at the same location twice in a row, no to mention this is the fifth time the event will be held in Arcadia. Freshman Andrew Sun believes this is “because Arcadia has a truly unique and diverse environment. Besides, the fact that we have one of the best racetracks in the world, our spirit as a community is one that overwhelms many people. We have this sense of unity and because the fact that we have some many different races, it’s defiantly a place that most people could blend in and feel at home.”

    raphaellu

    Posts : 62
    Join date : 2009-09-05

    Breeders' Cup

    Post  raphaellu on Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:14 am

    Raphael Lu
    Horses and Heroes (I'm going to interview someone who partook in the event)

    On Fri. Nov. 6 and Sat. Nov. 7, Santa Anita Park hosted the Breeder’s Cup. On the first day, a series of 14 races showcased the finest of horses from America and Europe. The prize money of these races was a whopping $25.5 million dollars.
    For the first day the main audience were horse fanatics, this changed when Breeders’ Cup’s partner, United Service Organizations (USO) took the stage. This non-profit organization goes all over the world to provide men and women in service with an at home feeling.
    It was a day that allowed the people serving our country to rest and indulge in food, fun, relaxation, and most importantly, family time. This year the USO will be commemorating the brave firefighters who risked their lives to keep us safe during the Station Fire. Freshman Tricia Xu feels that “they deserve[d] this event because it is a lot of work and they keep us safe. I don’t think a lot of people realize that. I’m just glad they are being honored, because we are all so thankful especially as the holidays come up.”
    What makes this event even more special is the fact that this is the first time the Breeders’ Cup has held the event at the same location twice in a row, not to mention this is the fifth time the event will be held in Arcadia.
    Horseracing has a big part in Arcadia’s history, so it sets a perfect background for these events. More over, Arcadia is a city that is always welcoming visitors and is more than willing to immerse people with our rich history. Perhaps this is why we have been chosen out of all the other cities around the world. Freshman Andrew Sun believes this is “because Arcadia has a truly unique and diverse environment. Besides, the fact that we have one of the best racetracks in the world, our spirit as a community is one that overwhelms many people. We have this sense of unity and because the fact that we have some many different races, it’s defiantly a place that most people could blend in and feel at home.”

    raphaellu

    Posts : 62
    Join date : 2009-09-05

    Breeders' Cup (final)

    Post  raphaellu on Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:26 pm

    Raphael Lu
    Horses and Heroes (it’s a phrase from an article you gave me)(final)

    On Fri. Nov. 6 and Sat. Nov. 7, Santa Anita Park hosted the Breeder’s Cup. On the first day, a series of 14 races showcased the best horses from America, Ireland, Saudi Arabia, Dubai, England, France, and even as far as Japan.. The prize money of these races was a whopping $25.5 million dollars. The first day and second day the main audience was for horse fanatics, however, during half-time, the United Service Organizations (USO), took the stage. This non-profit organization goes all over the world to provide men and women in service with an at home feeling.
    It was a day that allowed the people who protect our country to rest and indulge in a day of food, fun, relaxation, and most importantly, family time. This year the USO will be commemorating the brave firefighters who risked their lives to keep us safe during the Station Fire. Junior, Winnie Hui, who attended the event saw many of the “firefighters during the half-time shows. [They along with the] people from the army were performing.” Freshman Tricia Xu feels that “they deserve this event because it is a lot of work and they keep us safe. I don’t think a lot of people realize that. I’m just glad they are being honored, because we are all so thankful especially as the holidays come up.”
    What makes this event even more special is the fact that this is the first time The Breeders’ cup has held the event at the same location twice in a row, no to mention this is the fifth time the event will be held in Arcadia. Hui states that this is because “the Santa Anita Race Track has upgraded its race track to a synthetic [one]. A synthetic race track reduces the risk of injury of the horses. However, freshman Andrew Sun believes this is “because Arcadia has a truly unique and diverse environment. Besides, the fact that we have one of the best racetracks in the world, our spirit as a community is one that overwhelms many people. We have this sense of unity and because the fact that we have some many different races, it’s defiantly a place that most people could blend in and feel at home.” Whether it’s because of the racetrack or because of or excellent community, Arcadia, for sure, has made horse racing history.

    nancyxiao

    Posts : 170
    Join date : 2009-08-31

    Re: Breeders' Cup

    Post  nancyxiao on Thu Nov 12, 2009 4:49 am

    Raphael Lu
    Horses and Heroes (it’s a phrase from an article you gave me)(final)

    On Fri. Nov. 6 and Sat. Nov. 7, Santa Anita Park hosted the Breeder’s Cup. On the first day, a series of 14 races showcased the best horses from America, Ireland, Saudi Arabia, Dubai, England, France, and even as far as [delete "as far as"....maybe also delete "even"] Japan.. [delete extra period] The prize money of these races was a whopping $25.5 million dollars. The first day and second day the main audience was for horse fanatics, however, during half-time, the United Service Organizations (USO), took the stage. [confusing, especially the beginning] This non-profit organization goes [travels] all over the world to provide men and women in service with an at home [at-home/"at home"] feeling.
    It was a day that allowed the people who protect [protectors of] our country to rest and indulge in a day of food, fun, relaxation, and most importantly, family time. This year [insert comma] the USO will be commemorating the brave firefighters who risked their lives to keep us safe during the Station Fire. Junior, [delete comma] Winnie Hui, who attended the event [attended the event and] saw many of the “firefighters during the half-time shows. [They [insert comma] along with the] people from the army [insert comma] were performing [performed].” Freshman Tricia Xu feels that “they [confusing pronoun....use "soldiers" or "the men and women in service"] deserve this event because it is a lot of work and they [they do a lot of work to] keep us safe. I don’t think a lot of people realize that. I’m just glad they are being honored, because we are all so thankful especially as the holidays come up.” [change pronouns...your quote can't be from Tricia's perspective because you wrote "Freshman Tricia Xu feels that..." If you want to use pronouns like "I" you need to write "Freshman Tricia Xu said..."]
    What makes this event even more special is the fact that this is the first time The Breeders’ cup [the Breeders' Cup] has held the event [been held] at the same location twice in a row, no [not] to mention this is the fifth time the event will be [has been] held in Arcadia. Hui [Winnie---use first names for students who attend AHS] states that this is because “the Santa Anita Race Track has upgraded its race track to a synthetic [one]. A synthetic race track reduces the risk of injury of the horses. [Where does Winnie's quote end? You didn't put closing quotation marks] However, freshman Andrew Sun [Freshman Andrew Sun, however] believes this is “because [said, "] Arcadia has a truly unique and diverse environment. Besides, [delete comma] the fact that we have one of the best racetracks in the world, our spirit as a community is one that overwhelms many people. We have this sense of unity and because the fact that [delete---getting repetitive and is also unnecessary] we have some many different races, it’s defiantly [Arcadia is definitely] a place that most [where many] people could [can] blend in and feel at home.” Whether it’s because of the racetrack or because of or [its] excellent community, Arcadia, for sure [without a doubt/undoubtedly], has made horse racing [horse-racing] history.

    raphaellu

    Posts : 62
    Join date : 2009-09-05

    Breeders' Cup

    Post  raphaellu on Fri Nov 13, 2009 12:36 am

    Raphael Lu
    Breeders' Cup

    On Fri. Nov. 6 and Sat. Nov. 7, Santa Anita Park hosted the Breeder’s Cup. On the first day, a series of 14 races showcased the best horses from America, Ireland, Saudi Arabia, Dubai, England, France, and even Japan. The prize money of these races was a whopping $25.5 million dollars. The first and second day's main audience was for horse fanatics, however, during half-time, the United Service Organizations (USO), took the stage. This non-profit organization goes all over the world to provide men and women in service with an "at home" feeling.
    It was a day that allowed the protectors of our country to rest and indulge in a day of food, fun, relaxation, and most importantly, family time. This year, the USO will be commemorating the brave firefighters who risked their lives to keep us safe during the Station Fire. Junior Winnie Hui, attended the event and saw many of the “firefighters during the half-time shows. [They, along with the] people from the army, performed.” Freshman Tricia Xu feels that “[the men and women in service] deserve this event because [they do a lot of work to keep us safe]. [Not a lot of people] realize that. [She's] just glad they are being honored, because we are all so thankful especially as the holidays come up.”
    What makes this event even more special is the fact that this is the first time the Breeders’ cup has been held at the same location twice in a row, no to mention this is the fifth time the event will be held in Arcadia. Winnie states that this is because “the Santa Anita Race Track has upgraded its race track to a synthetic [one]. A synthetic race track reduces the risk of injury of the horses." Freshman Andrew Sun however, believes this is “because Arcadia has a truly unique and diverse environment. Besides the fact that we have one of the best racetracks in the world, our spirit as a community is one that overwhelms many people. We have this sense of unity and because... we have so many different races, Arcadia is definitely a place [where many] people [can] blend in and feel at home.” Whether it’s because of the racetrack or because of its excellent community, Arcadia, without a doubt, has made horse racing history.

    Horses and Heroes (it’s a phrase from an article you gave me)
    A Weekend of Horses and Heroes

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