For C.E. Mixed Signals

Mixed Signals by Kaitlyn Jeong

I couldn’t believe how selfish she was being: first, she refused to share her chili fries with me, then she completely denied my request to catch a ride home. I believe I made it pretty clear that I was starving, after eyeing those fries like the hyenas from The Lion King, and after school, I loudly grumbled that my mother was stuck in traffic. Anyone could have picked up on those signals; they were so obvious that I figured no words needed to be spoken. Sure, I didn’t verbally say anything, but in my mind, I was shrieking, mostly about how hungry I was. I thought that perhaps by thinking loudly, the person in question would receive my telepathic messages and understand what I was saying thinking.

Was there something wrong with my form of communication? I spoke with others about this conspiracy (aloud, mind you) and it seemed as if they had dealt with the same things. Their boyfriends/girlfriends asked them what they wanted for Valentine’s Day last year, and they replied, in the traditional mushy fashion, “You.” They got what they asked for…and nothing else. Needless to say, the people I spoke to were able to change their Facebook statuses to “single” for the first time in a month and a half. We all sat together, scratching our heads and each other’s heads, hoping to figure out why our messages were misinterpreted each time we thought we had made it clear. One of my friends complained that her boyfriend had given her “the ugliest necklace in the history of jewelry,” quite the opposite of the pendant she had widened her eyes and gasped inaudibly at. I was shocked: how was it possible that her boyfriend hadn’t picked up on her choice? Another one of my friends was obsessing over a text message his crush had sent him. He stared at the screen, wondering in agony why she had placed a smiley face in the middle of the sentence rather than at the end. Did this mean she didn’t like him the way he liked her? Didn’t he make it apparent with his choice of font (Arial) that he had a huge crush on her?

For days afterwards, I pondered over these strange incidents, and then suddenly, it hit me. Maybe (and this was just a crazy notion) if we said exactly what we were thinking, things would run smoothly: I would get my precious chili fries, and the people I talked to would get their pendants, Godivas, teddy bears, or whatever it was that they wanted for Valentine’s Day. Just dropping hints about what we wanted wouldn’t get us anywhere, and implications meant absolutely nothing. If we applied the same tactic to other areas, maybe then we’d get what we want, instead of the drama and fights that always follwed.

With this epiphany, I felt inspired to use my new ideas to my advantage and take control of my own life. Suddenly, the world became a brighter, happier place. In previous lunchtime situations, for example, I had willed the lunch lady to give me orange chicken, and was told each time that I was holding up the line and given teriyaki. One day, I mustered up my courage, and finally spoke the fateful words, “Orange chicken” and to my surprise, there I stood holding a bowl of orange chicken. Receiving that chicken was both a shocking and humbling experience, for never before had I considered the possibility that my double blinks or head-tilt towards what I wanted was imperceptible to the untrained eye. I had no idea that I had been sending mixed signals to the people around me, and that people weren’t being rude or insensitive when they ignored my “obvious” requests, but were simply confused by the messages I was sending.

From that day forward, I promised to make what I was saying clear and precise, so that others wouldn’t misinterpret what I was trying to say. I vowed to be aware of my actions, my body language, my font, and my strategically placed smiley faces. If someone misinterpreted this article as a confession of love, for example that would J truly be a miscommunication with disastrous results.

I couldn’t believe how selfish she was being: first, she refused to share her chili fries with me, then she completely denied my request to catch a ride home. I believe I made it pretty clear that I was starving, after eyeing those fries like the hyenas from The Lion King, and after school, I loudly grumbled that my mother was stuck in traffic. Anyone could have picked up on those signals; they were so obvious that I figured no words needed to be spoken. Sure, I didn’t verbally say anything, but in my mind, I was shrieking, mostly about how hungry I was. I thought that perhaps by thinking loudly, the person in question would receive my telepathic messages and understand what I was saying thinking.

Was there something wrong with my form of communication? I spoke with others about this conspiracy (aloud, mind you) and it seemed as if they had dealt with the same things. Their boyfriends/girlfriends asked them what they wanted for Valentine’s Day last year, and they replied, in the traditional mushy fashion, “You.” They got what they asked for... and nothing else. Needless to say, the people I spoke to were able [you make it sound like they were waiting for a viable excuse to break up with the other party] to change their Facebook statuses to “single” for the first time in a month and a half. We all sat together, scratching our heads and each other’s heads, hoping to figure out why our messages were misinterpreted each time we thought we had made it clear. One of my friends complained that her boyfriend had given her “the ugliest necklace in the history of jewelry,” quite the opposite of the pendant she had widened her eyes and gasped inaudibly at. I was shocked: how was it possible that her boyfriend hadn’t picked up on her choice? Another one of my friends was obsessing over a text message his crush had sent him. He stared at the screen, wondering in agony why she had placed a smiley face in the middle of the sentence rather than at the end. Did this mean she didn’t like him the way he liked her? Didn’t he make it apparent with his choice of font (Arial) that he had a huge crush on her?

For days afterwards, I pondered over these strange incidents, and then suddenly, it hit me. Maybe (and this was just a crazy notion) if we said exactly what we were thinking, things would run smoothly: I would get my precious chili fries, and the people I talked to would get their pendants, Godivas, teddy bears, or whatever it was that they wanted for Valentine’s Day. Just dropping hints about what we wanted wouldn’t get us anywhere, and implications meant absolutely nothing. If we applied the same tactic to other areas, maybe then we’d get what we want, instead of the drama and fights that had always follwed.

With this epiphany, I felt inspired to use my new ideas to my advantage and take control of my own [delete] life. Suddenly, the world became a brighter, happier place. In previous lunchtime situations, for example, I had willed the lunch lady to give me orange chicken, and was told each time that I was holding up the line and given teriyaki. One day, I mustered up my courage, and finally spoke the fateful words, “Orange chicken” and to my surprise, there I stood holding a bowl of orange chicken. Receiving that orange chicken was both a shocking and humbling experience, for never before had I considered the possibility that my double blinks or head-tilt towards what I wanted was imperceptible to the untrained eye. I had no idea that I had been sending mixed signals to the people around me, and that people weren’t being rude or insensitive when they ignored my “obvious” requests, but were simply confused by the messages I was sending.

From that day forward, I promised to make what I was saying clear and precise, so that others wouldn’t misinterpret what I was trying to say. I vowed to be aware of my actions, my body language, my font, and my strategically placed smiley faces. If someone misinterpreted this article as a confession of love, for example that would truly be a miscommunication with disastrous results.

very cute (: no more edits!