My freshman year in college has been anything but a Cinderella story. I didn’t exactly ask for one, but looking back at the goals and expectations I set a year ago, I might as well have.
I wanted to maintain a 3.80 gpa while satisfying my intellectual curiosity, to stay competitive for law school admission while remaining open to new things. I wanted to experience cultural diversity and venture beyond the “Arcadia bubble,” but only while simultaneously maintaining my Chinese roots. I wanted to meet my life-long soul mates and friends, while gaining foothold and comfort in multiple social groups. I wanted to work out to improve my physical image, and still find time to play basketball and soccer. I wanted my first dating experience, to experience a magical feeling I still long for – to love a girl who loves me back with all my heart – I have always walked a one-way street.
A slightly overwhelming, unrealistic, and narcissistic list, no?
I chose Dartmouth in part because I felt it would give me an environment to accomplish these things. It is far from Arcadia, culturally and geographically. I knew very few people. It would be a fresh start, a chance for me to rebuild myself any way I liked, so long as I can accept the person I become. As I round the corner on the last weeks of my freshman year, one that many describe as one of the most memorable of their lives, I have learned many difficult lessons, some new, but mostly things I’ve always known.
I’ve learned that bad habits we develop before college do not die easily, even ones that never appeared particularly lethal. In my junior year I took a zero-period class that essentially made me nocturnal – I would nap after coming home and start homework after dinner, finally falling asleep after 2 a.m. only to have my mom drag me out of bed at six. The vicious sleeping cycle plagued me throughout this year, but without my mom here to wake me, my poor alarm could do little to prevent me from oversleeping class after class. As a result, not only have my grades suffered (since class sizes are small at Dartmouth, attendance often counts), I also missed lectures and in-class experiences I can’t replace through readings and power-point slides.
I’ve learned that the most beautiful plans we make for college and life don’t mean a thing if we can’t plow through the subsequent work and challenges. Too many times I have stirred my own enthusiasm with grand visions for a class, work out regime, sleep schedule, piano practice, only to see a pitifully paltry amount actually follow through. And then there is the danger of over-planning and over-thinking. I was so bent on finding “cultural diversity” that I excluded myself from most groups on campus without ever joining them. I decided, long before I even arrived for my first day of school, that I would not join any Asian cultural groups or fellowships. Add the fact I am inept at most sports (there goes another big social group), didn’t want to get involved in the frat scene (over half the campus is), and can’t sing (a capella groups is another major source of bonding), it is little wonder that aside from a few close friends I have virtually no social network. Classical music just doesn’t bring people together the same way. It is much more individualistic and disintegrated. In short, I spent far too much time thinking and planning than I did doing and trying. It cost my freshman experience dearly.
I’ve learned that as old and cliché as “follow your heart” may sound, it still rings true no matter where we go or how much freedom we gain. I jumped into a relationship even as I wondered how much of my decision was driven by the desire to boost my ego and self-esteem, even as I wondered how much of it was my need to be loved and to have a special someone. I’ve always taken pride in being honest to myself and others. I wasn’t this time, and it showed in less than a week.
[insert para on profs]
People often say that time passes the quickest when we’re having a great time. After this year, I’m beginning to feel that it actually passes the quickest when we just sit there letting life slip by with little to show for it…[finish conclusion]
I wanted to maintain a 3.80 gpa while satisfying my intellectual curiosity, to stay competitive for law school admission while remaining open to new things. I wanted to experience cultural diversity and venture beyond the “Arcadia bubble,” but only while simultaneously maintaining my Chinese roots. I wanted to meet my life-long soul mates and friends, while gaining foothold and comfort in multiple social groups. I wanted to work out to improve my physical image, and still find time to play basketball and soccer. I wanted my first dating experience, to experience a magical feeling I still long for – to love a girl who loves me back with all my heart – I have always walked a one-way street.
A slightly overwhelming, unrealistic, and narcissistic list, no?
I chose Dartmouth in part because I felt it would give me an environment to accomplish these things. It is far from Arcadia, culturally and geographically. I knew very few people. It would be a fresh start, a chance for me to rebuild myself any way I liked, so long as I can accept the person I become. As I round the corner on the last weeks of my freshman year, one that many describe as one of the most memorable of their lives, I have learned many difficult lessons, some new, but mostly things I’ve always known.
I’ve learned that bad habits we develop before college do not die easily, even ones that never appeared particularly lethal. In my junior year I took a zero-period class that essentially made me nocturnal – I would nap after coming home and start homework after dinner, finally falling asleep after 2 a.m. only to have my mom drag me out of bed at six. The vicious sleeping cycle plagued me throughout this year, but without my mom here to wake me, my poor alarm could do little to prevent me from oversleeping class after class. As a result, not only have my grades suffered (since class sizes are small at Dartmouth, attendance often counts), I also missed lectures and in-class experiences I can’t replace through readings and power-point slides.
I’ve learned that the most beautiful plans we make for college and life don’t mean a thing if we can’t plow through the subsequent work and challenges. Too many times I have stirred my own enthusiasm with grand visions for a class, work out regime, sleep schedule, piano practice, only to see a pitifully paltry amount actually follow through. And then there is the danger of over-planning and over-thinking. I was so bent on finding “cultural diversity” that I excluded myself from most groups on campus without ever joining them. I decided, long before I even arrived for my first day of school, that I would not join any Asian cultural groups or fellowships. Add the fact I am inept at most sports (there goes another big social group), didn’t want to get involved in the frat scene (over half the campus is), and can’t sing (a capella groups is another major source of bonding), it is little wonder that aside from a few close friends I have virtually no social network. Classical music just doesn’t bring people together the same way. It is much more individualistic and disintegrated. In short, I spent far too much time thinking and planning than I did doing and trying. It cost my freshman experience dearly.
I’ve learned that as old and cliché as “follow your heart” may sound, it still rings true no matter where we go or how much freedom we gain. I jumped into a relationship even as I wondered how much of my decision was driven by the desire to boost my ego and self-esteem, even as I wondered how much of it was my need to be loved and to have a special someone. I’ve always taken pride in being honest to myself and others. I wasn’t this time, and it showed in less than a week.
[insert para on profs]
People often say that time passes the quickest when we’re having a great time. After this year, I’m beginning to feel that it actually passes the quickest when we just sit there letting life slip by with little to show for it…[finish conclusion]