7 New Semester Resolutions

7 New Semester Resolutions
With winter break long gone and finals coming up, second semester is right around the corner! To most of us, second semester merely means first semester plus two times the effort, homework, and exams. But through the twinkling and excited eyes of a nerd, second semester is the beginning of a brand new academic adventure. How do I know you ask? Well, fallen through the hands of a naïve and eager nerd was a fairly detailed list of extraordinary goals full of new ambitions for their bright futures. Here is the list of new semester resolutions, carelessly lost by a nerd; then placed into the hands of a Pow Wow staff writer…

Nerds habitually become teacher’s pets due to their incessantly fantastic grades, so who would’ve guessed that number one on this list is: achieve teacher’s-pet status. Teachers constantly insist that they don’t judge students, but it is so obvious that attempting to prevent the human instinct of focusing more attention on one who shares similar interests is futile. Perhaps the reason why nerds like being the teacher’s pet isn’t for bragging rights, but for security. Security that comes from being sure the teacher likes them because they’re smarter than others.

Number two is to claim a seat in the front of the class, not only because of their bulky, thick rimmed glasses, but also, to prove academic seriousness. The annoyance of assigned seats could be easily dodged by a simple complaint of not being able to see the board. Already surpassing the IQ or a genius, these nerds end up learning most from sitting in the front, therefore maintaining their nerd-like status.

According to the average American stereotype, nerds are seen as distasteful and eerie creatures that have abnormally overactive brains. Despite their photographic memory and trait to be a quick learner, number three and four on the list is to learn a few chapters ahead and to do early preparation for following school year. So scholarly, yet so aggressive, these education-craved people fight hard to push ahead of the rest. Information-greedy, these gluttons for learning practically steal the attention from teachers. Hidden under their innocent faces, this is merely another tactic for them to be further enlightened.

Number five on the list is to succeed in playing sports. If only math and physics were applied to the art of sports, nerds would be something beyond our imaginations! Beautiful, toned body and active muscles and bones, nerds would look like supermodels. But a nerd could only dream for determining a football player’s move in advance with permutations and combinations. Or using physics to evaluate the velocity of how far and how fast a baseball would fly when put under certain conditions.

Number six on the list is to achieve a normal BMI (body mass index). Unhealthy eating caused by excess homework causes a nerd to be either too scrawny and undernourished or a bit too chunky and tubby. Along with unhealthy eating, the amount of exercise they do in a week might have been said to be equivalent to three sit ups a day, for about… a day. A healthy tip for those unhealthy nerds out there: an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Last but not least (in fact, this is probably the most difficult), a nerd wants to learn the somewhat legendary and unattainable emotion – love. With a heart of a robot, these poor nerds yearn for love. Their desire to feel the passionate sensation is unbearable although they hide it through their blank and vacant expressions and monotone sound waves. Study dates with their own mothers (and occasionally the, also, lonely elderly neighbors down the street), these deprived and underprivileged loners aren’t greedy. Ugly appearance, mean personality – it’s all okay! They just desperately need someone with a working brain and beating heart.

Well there you have it, the new semester resolutions of a typical nerd released into the world. Hopefully you’ve learned a thing or two for second semester. Make sure to study a little harder, and push further to achieve higher grades. Nevertheless, trying to steal a seat in the front first might help you learn a little more and you might even mentally knock down a few nerds along the way. Just don’t forget, an apple a day keeps the doctors away.

EDIT 1

7 New Semester Resolutions
With winter break long gone and finals coming up, second semester is right around the corner! To most of us, second semester merely means [insert 'another'] first semester plus two times the effort, homework, and exams. But through the twinkling and excited eyes of a nerd, second semester is the beginning of a brand new [brand-new] academic adventure. How do I know [insert comma] you ask? Well, fallen through the hands of a naïve and eager nerd was a fairly detailed list of extraordinary goals full of new ambitions for their bright futures. Here is the list of new semester resolutions, carelessly lost by a nerd; then placed into the hands of a Pow Wow staff writer…

Nerds habitually become teacher’s pets due to their incessantly fantastic grades, so who would’ve guessed that number one on this list is: achieve teacher’s-pet status. Teachers constantly insist that they don’t judge students, but it is so obvious that attempting to prevent the human instinct of focusing more attention on one who shares similar interests is futile. Perhaps the reason why nerds like being the teacher’s pet isn’t for bragging rights, but for security. Security that comes from being sure the teacher likes them because they’re smarter than others.

Number two is to claim a seat in [at] the front of the class, not only because of their bulky, thick rimmed glasses, but also ,[delete] to prove academic seriousness. The annoyance of assigned seats could be easily dodged by a simple complaint of not being able to see the board. Already surpassing the IQ or [of] a genius, these nerds end up learning most from sitting in the front, therefore maintaining their nerd-like status.

According to the average American stereotype, nerds are seen as distasteful and eerie creatures that have abnormally overactive brains. Despite their photographic memory and trait to be a quick learner, number three and four on the list is to learn a few chapters ahead and to do early preparation for [for the] following school year. So scholarly, yet so aggressive, these education-craved people fight hard to push ahead of the rest. Information-greedy, these gluttons for learning practically steal the attention from teachers. Hidden under their innocent faces, this is merely another tactic for them to be further enlightened.

Number five on the list is to succeed in playing sports. If only math and physics were applied to the art of sports, nerds would be something beyond our imaginations! Beautiful, toned body and active muscles and bones, nerds would look like supermodels. But a nerd could only dream for determining a football player’s move in advance with permutations and combinations. Or using physics to evaluate the velocity of how far and how fast a baseball would fly when put under certain conditions.

Number six on the list is to achieve a normal BMI (body mass index). Unhealthy eating caused by excess homework causes a nerd to be either too scrawny and undernourished or a bit too chunky and tubby. Along with unhealthy eating, the amount of exercise they do in a week might have been said to be equivalent to three sit ups a day, for about… a day. A healthy tip for those unhealthy nerds out there: an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Last but not least (in fact, this is probably the most difficult), a nerd wants to learn the somewhat legendary and unattainable emotion – love. With a heart of a robot, these poor nerds yearn for love. Their desire to feel the passionate sensation is unbearable although they hide it through their blank and vacant expressions and monotone sound waves. Study dates with their own mothers (and occasionally the, also, lonely elderly neighbors down the street), these deprived and underprivileged loners aren’t greedy. Ugly appearance, mean personality – it’s all okay! They just desperately need someone with a working brain and beating heart.

Well [insert comma] there you have it, the new semester resolutions of a typical nerd released into the world. Hopefully you’ve learned a thing or two for second semester. Make sure to study a little harder, and push further to achieve higher grades. Nevertheless, trying to steal a seat in the front first might help you learn a little more and you might even mentally knock down a few nerds along the way. Just don’t forget, an apple a day keeps the doctors away.. [delete]

7 New Semester Resolutions
With winter break long gone and finals coming here, second semester is right around the corner! To most of us, second semester merely means another first semester plus two times the effort, homework, and exams. But through the twinkling and excited eyes of a diligent student, second semester is the beginning of a brand-new academic adventure. How do I know, you ask? Well, fallen through the hands of a naïve and eager nerd was a fairly detailed list of extraordinary goals full of new ambitions for their bright futures. Here is the list of new semester resolutions, carelessly lost by a fellow comrade; then placed into the hands of a Pow Wow staff writer…

Nerds habitually become teacher’s pets due to their fantastic grades, so who would’ve guessed that number one on this list is to achieve teacher’s-pet status. Teachers constantly insist that they don’t judge students, but it is so obvious that resisting the human instinct of focusing more attention on one who shares similar interests is impossible. Perhaps the reason why nerds like being the teacher’s pet isn’t for bragging rights, but for security. Security that comes from being sure the teacher likes them because they’re smarter than others.

Number two is to claim a seat at the front of the class, not only because of their bulky, thick rimmed glasses, but also to prove academic seriousness. The annoyance of assigned seats could be easily dodged by a simple complaint of not being able to see the board. Already surpassing the IQ of a genius, these nerds end up learning most from sitting in the front, therefore maintaining their nerd-like status.

According to normal people, nerds are seen as distasteful and eerie creatures that have abnormally overactive brains. Despite their photographic memory and fast-learning ability, number three and four on the list are to learn a few chapters ahead and to prepare early for the following school year. So scholarly, yet so aggressive, these education-craved people fight hard to push ahead of the rest. Information-greedy, these gluttons for learning practically steal the attention from teachers. Hidden under their innocent faces, this is merely another tactic for them to be further enlightened.

Number five on the list is to succeed in playing sports. If only math and physics were applied to sports, nerds would be something beyond our imaginations! Beautiful, toned body and active muscles, nerds would look like supermodels. But a nerd could only determine a football player’s move in advance with permutations and combinations. Or using physics to evaluate the velocity of how far and how fast a baseball would fly under certain conditions.

Number six on the list is to achieve a normal BMI (body mass index). Unhealthy eating caused by excess schoolwork causes a nerd to be either too scrawny and undernourished or a bit too chunky and tubby. Along with unhealthy eating, the amount of exercise they do in a week might have been said to be three sit ups, for about… a year. A healthy tip for those unhealthy nerds out there: an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Last but not least (in fact, this is probably the most difficult), a nerd wants to experience the somewhat legendary and unattainable feeling – love. With the heart of a robot, these poor people yearn for love. Their desire to feel the passionate sensation is unbearable although they hide it through their vacant expressions and monotone sound waves. Study dates with their own mothers (and occasionally the, also, lonely elderly neighbors down the street), these deprived and underprivileged loners aren’t greedy. Unseemly appearance, less than nice personality – it’s all good! They just desperately need someone with a working brain and beating heart.

Well, there you have it, the new semester resolutions of a typical nerd released into the world. Study a little harder, and push further to achieve higher grades. Steal a seat in the front to learn a little more and even mentally knock down the fellow competitors. Keep in mind of course, an apple a day keeps the doctors away!

EDIT 2

7 New Semester Resolutions
With winter break long gone and finals coming here [word choice, maybe 'coming up'], second semester is right around the corner! To most of us, second semester merely means another first semester plus two times the effort, homework, and exams. But through the twinkling and excited eyes of a diligent student, second semester is [replace with 'marks'] the beginning of a brand-new academic adventure. How do I know, you ask? Well, fallen through the hands of a naïve and eager nerd was a fairly detailed list of extraordinary goals full of new ambitions for their bright futures [delete]. Here is the list of new semester resolutions, carelessly lost by a fellow comrade; then placed into the hands of a Pow Wow staff writer… [change to 'that was carelessly lost by a fellow comrade and found its way into the hands of a Pow Wow staff writer...']

Nerds habitually become teacher’s pets due to their fantastic grades, so who would’ve guessed that number one on this list is to achieve teacher’s-pet status. Teachers constantly insist that they don’t judge students, but it is so [delete] obvious that resisting the human instinct of focusing more attention on one who shares similar interests is impossible. Perhaps the reason why nerds like being the teacher’s pet isn’t for bragging rights, but for security. Security that comes from being sure the teacher likes them because they’re smarter than others.

Number two is to claim a seat at the front of the class, not only because of their bulky, thick rimmed glasses, but also to prove academic seriousness. The annoyance of assigned seats could be easily dodged by a simple complaint of not being able to see the board. Already surpassing the IQ of a genius, these nerds end up learning most from sitting in the front, therefore maintaining their nerd-like status.

According to normal people, nerds are seen as distasteful and eerie creatures that have abnormally overactive brains. Despite their photographic memory and fast-learning ability, number three and four on the list are to learn a few chapters ahead [change to 'the next few chapters'] and to prepare early for the following school year. So scholarly, yet so aggressive, these education-craved people fight hard to push ahead of the rest. Information-greedy, these gluttons for learning practically steal the attention from teachers. Hidden under their innocent faces, this is merely another tactic for them to be further enlightened.

Number five on the list is to succeed in playing sports. If only math and physics were applied to sports, nerds would be something beyond our imaginations! Beautiful, toned body and active muscles, [change to 'With beautiful bodies and toned muscles,'] nerds would look like supermodels. But a nerd could only determine a football player’s move in advance with permutations and combinations. [delete] Or using [change to 'or use'] physics to evaluate the velocity of how far and how fast a baseball would fly under certain conditions.

Number six on the list is to achieve a normal BMI (body mass index) [change to 'body mass index'] . Unhealthy eating caused by excess schoolwork causes a nerd to be either too scrawny and undernourished or a bit too chunky and tubby. Along with unhealthy eating, the amount of exercise they do in a week might have been said to be three sit ups, for about… a year. A healthy tip for those unhealthy nerds out there: an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Last but not least (in fact, this is probably the most difficult), a nerd wants to experience the somewhat legendary and unattainable feeling – love. With the heart of a robot, these poor people yearn for love. Their desire to feel the passionate sensation is unbearable although they hide it through their vacant expressions and monotone sound waves. Study dates with their own mothers (and occasionally the, also, lonely elderly neighbors down the street), these deprived and underprivileged loners aren’t greedy. Unseemly appearance, less than nice personality – it’s all good! They just desperately need someone with a working brain and beating heart.

Well, there you have it, the new semester resolutions of a typical nerd released into the world. Study a little harder, and push further to achieve higher grades. Steal a seat in the front to learn a little more and even mentally knock down the fellow competitors. Keep in mind of course, an apple a day keeps the doctors [doctor] away!

7 New Semester Resolutions
With winter break long gone and finals coming up, second semester is right around the corner! To most of us, second semester merely means another first semester plus two times the effort, homework, and exams. But through the twinkling and excited eyes of a diligent student, second semester marks the beginning of a brand-new academic adventure. How do I know, you ask? Well, fallen through the hands of a naïve and eager nerd was a fairly detailed list of extraordinary goals full of new ambitions. Here is the list of new semester resolutions that was carelessly lost by a fellow comrade and found its way into the hands of a Pow Wow staff writer...

Nerds habitually become teacher’s pets due to their fantastic grades, so who would’ve guessed that number one on this list is to achieve teacher’s-pet status. Teachers constantly insist that they don’t judge students, but it is obvious that resisting the human instinct of focusing more attention on one who shares similar interests is impossible. Perhaps the reason why nerds like being the teacher’s pet isn’t for bragging rights, but for security. Security that comes from being sure the teacher likes them because they’re smarter than others.

Number two is to claim a seat at the front of the class, not only because of their bulky, thick rimmed glasses, but also to prove academic seriousness. The annoyance of assigned seats could be easily dodged by a simple complaint of not being able to see the board. Already surpassing the IQ of a genius, these nerds end up learning most from sitting in the front, therefore maintaining their nerd-like status.

According to normal people, nerds are seen as distasteful and eerie creatures that have abnormally overactive brains. Despite their photographic memory and fast-learning ability, number three and four on the list are to learn the next few chapters and to prepare early for the following school year. So scholarly, yet so aggressive, these education-craved people fight hard to push ahead of the rest. Information-greedy, these gluttons for learning practically steal the attention from teachers. Hidden under their innocent faces, this is merely another tactic for them to be further enlightened.

Number five on the list is to succeed in playing sports. If only math and physics were applied to sports, nerds would be something beyond our imaginations! With beautiful bodies and toned muscles, nerds would look like supermodels. But a nerd could only determine a football player’s move in advance with permutations and combinations. Or use physics to evaluate the velocity of how far and how fast a baseball would fly under certain conditions.

Number six on the list is to achieve a normal BMI ‘body mass index’. Unhealthy eating caused by excess schoolwork causes a nerd to be either too scrawny and undernourished or a bit too chunky and tubby. Along with unhealthy eating, the amount of exercise they do in a week might have been said to be three sit ups, for about… a year. A healthy tip for those unhealthy nerds out there: an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Last but not least (in fact, this is probably the most difficult), a nerd wants to experience the somewhat legendary and unattainable feeling – love. With the heart of a robot, these poor people yearn for love. Their desire to feel the passionate sensation is unbearable although they hide it through their vacant expressions and monotone sound waves. Study dates with their own mothers (and occasionally the, also, lonely elderly neighbors down the street), these deprived and underprivileged loners aren’t greedy. Unseemly appearance, less than nice personality – it’s all good! They just desperately need someone with a working brain and beating heart.

Well, there you have it, the new semester resolutions of a typical nerd released into the world. Study a little harder, and push further to achieve higher grades. Steal a seat in the front to learn a little more and even mentally knock down the fellow competitors. Keep in mind of course, an apple a day keeps the doctor away!