How to Impress your Teacher
Lurking in the brains of almost every AHS student is the ultimate question that will probably change their grades forever: how can I impress my teachers? If you naively follow these simple tips, definite success is not guaranteed. The Apache Pow Wow will not be held responsible for any types of expulsion, detention, and / or suspension.
A good way to start of class is by sitting in the back of the classroom. This will show teachers how considerate you are, selflessly giving up your education for those who need to sit in the front because of their bad eyesight. Another great tip is to eat in class; typically students who eat snacks are the healthiest in the class. But isn’t there a saying: sharing is caring? Offer some to fellow classmates, proving to everyone how bighearted and charitable you can be. But an even better idea is to offer the teacher some of your food, symbolically offering your generosity and kindness. This way your teacher will know that not only do you care about your health, but you also care about everyone else’s. Leaving crumbs on the ground or purposely dropping leftover remains of snacks is a great way to show your love for animals. Providing for the giant rats and semi-vicious squirrels that reside at our school demonstrates the care and passion to rightfully nourish the cute, unfortunate animals.
Behavior is also a key point that will affect the way a teacher thinks of a student. Acting like a know-it-all and rudely interrupting are frequently misunderstood actions. People do not act like a know-it-all; instead, they are sharing knowledge. Furthermore, people do not rudely interrupt each other either, they are finishing others sentences which shows how much they understand people. When class begins, a Steve Urkel impersonation is definitely a good thing to start with. The nerdy loud cackle followed by a nasal snort will certainly show teachers your ambition to be smart. Also, you should never ask questions. NEVER. Looking hopelessly confused will not get a teacher to think well of you. If your phone rings while class is still in session, pick it up and say, “Hi! Oh yea, now’s a GREAT time… what’s up?” This type of impertinence amazes the teacher because it shows him/her that you are way too smart for the material being covered, and are also willing to sacrifice class time in order to help a friend.
Communication among your peers is also a vital requirement that teachers look for. Many students do the opposite of what this statement suggests. Helping out your peers is actually a bad thing to do. Arrogantly showing off your “mad skills” will make teachers think poorly of you. Instead, do not help other peers. From afar, these simple actions will prove to the teacher that you believe in them so much that you know for a fact that they won’t need help. If this technique has already been started, bring it up to the next step: antisocialism. This skill is repeatedly misinterpreted as something bad, failing, unconfident kids practice. Honestly, this is one of the smartest things to do because it allows the teacher to learn about your personality, how you aren’t needy or dependent. Speaking of needy and dependent, teachers occasionally ask a few select students to help them do their tasks such as grading papers, copying worksheets, etc. Dutifully assisting a teacher shows what a meek and obedient pushover you are. Let them do it themselves, it’s their job isn’t it? Letting teachers earn their paychecks will make them feel like they actually deserve it.
Changing yourself to impress others and make them like you is never a bad thing. It’s not difficult at all, and achieving that loving feeling will sure make you feel good about yourself. So if you feel like your teacher is still not impressed by your awe-inspiring existence, try following these tips!