Christmas 10 words
1. Fruit cake: A mistreated, delectable, scrumptious piece of heaven typically wrapped in tin foil and passed around … and around and around. This fruity baked good is filled with tons of awesome nutritional value due to the various fruits and nuts.
“I cried when I found out my boyfriend gave me fruitcake, but when I tasted it, it was really good.”
2. Coal: The gift that a generous man named Santa gives to the naughty kids.
“Sally immediately regretted bashing in her teachers car windows the day before Christmas after she woke up and saw a pile of coal in her stocking.”
3. Giftcardrescue.com: Say goodbye to useless gift cards that you don’t want or need. This is a website that allows useless gift card holders to exchange a gift card for another or sell them for cash.
“The vegetarian boy was devastated when he was given a gift card to Mike’s Meat Mania, but he quickly traded it for a Tofu Palace gift card.”
4. Trastic: Plastic fake Christmas trees that are put up every Christmas and sprayed with the scent of oak and pine and decorated as if it were real, then taken apart and put away in the dark attic for another year. A good reason for these is to be used is due to the winter homework assigned in the various several classes, therefore there is less time to actually buy or chop down a real tree. This is the AHS Apache holiday spirit!
“Since those kids live in the desert, they decided it would be better to buy a nice reusable trastic instead of a real tree.”
5. Santa Clause: An excessively jolly and overweight man who works one day a year. With a BMI probably far past the overweight section, this cookie and milk loving man doesn’t have time to shave his massive beard due to his work. Passing out gifts to every good child in the whole world, this happy old man needs not one, not two, but twelve whole reindeer to pull his sleigh.
“Santa Clause was eating another gingerbread cookie when his belt buckle popped.”
6. Rednoseosis: The terrible disease that Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer caught during his stay at tinsel town. Santa, being as jolly and nice as he is, was forced to compliment the abnormally glowing nose and kindly let the horse with antlers lead the pack while he delivered presents. So Rudolph wouldn’t feel bad, Santa even had his elves write a catchy children’s song about how brave and helpful the reindeer was.
“Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer transmitted Rednoseosis to his children so they could keep the red nose tradition going.”
7. Eggnog: A delicious and protein filled yet vomit inducing blend of raw eggs, sugar, and milk. When ignorantly drank in excess, this festive and blissful fluid will turn a joyful and merry holiday event into a horrible and repulsive night of upchucking.
“After drinking three cups of eggnog and realizing there were at least five or six raw eggs in the festive drink, Mary ran to the bathroom… and stayed there.”
8. Whooper: When a small, innocent, cheerful, and curious child sneakily hears Santa setting presents under the tree or stockings and tiptoes all the way to the living room to find out that Santa is merely a myth and their parents have been lying to them for all the how many years they’ve lived.
“My little brother experienced his first Whopper Christmas night, when he got up for a glass of water and witnessed our daddy silently but conspicuously putting gifts under the tree boldly and clearly labeled ‘From Santa’.”
9. Santa’s theme song: Songs sang annually to bring joy and x-mas spirit to the hearts of many. When sang during the holiday, people cheer and listen respectfully. When sang outside the holiday season, people listen in disgust and the carolers are sadly booed upon.
“All December long, Santa’s theme song is played on the TV, the radio, and even sung by young elementary school children.”
10. x-mas-lighting-mania: A ridiculous array of dangly little lights all over roofs with a carefully arranged course of waving Santa’s, sick reindeers, outrageously dressed snowmen, and boxes of glowing and luminous gifts. Not only does this little light show get constant praises of ooh’s and ah’s, it can also cause car accidents all over. Once the lights are plugged in, cars driving in the dark with only streetlights and headlights to light the way are suddenly surprised with 100 watts of blaring white light dangerously blinding drivers and causing them to crash into nearby cars and young children.
“5th Avenue decided to see which household would be struck the most with x-mas-lighting-mania by having a contest on seeing who would put up the most lights, ornaments, and decorations around their houses.”